


Illuminae

by TheLostViking



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Apparently I write haikyuu fics now, I saw someone crying on twitter over lack of fics with this pairing and it started a fire, M/M, Moderately Slow Burn, OmiHina, Post-Timeskip, Posting as I write, Sex, Short Chapters, Teasing, This is about to get explicit, sakuhina, tbh I have no idea what's to come, touch sensitivity, trainer shoyo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:15:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLostViking/pseuds/TheLostViking
Summary: Kiyoomi was starting to notice a pattern. As he followed his routine on campus, it was becoming clear that it was overlapping with someone that either had strict daily routines like him, or simply happened to show up at the same places at the same times every single week. It was hard not to pay attention to him; he had bright orange hair, a sun-kissed tan that stood out, and everyone seemed to know who he was. Kiyoomi did not know who he was. But he was starting to wish he did.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Hinata Shouyou/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 113
Kudos: 352
Collections: Haikyuu!!





	1. Crossing paths

**Author's Note:**

> This is a scrambled, unedited, spontaneous thing but I felt like it so here we are

Kiyoomi was starting to notice a pattern. As he followed his routine on campus, it was becoming clear that it was overlapping with someone that either had strict daily routines like him, or simply _happened_ to show up at the same places at the same times _every single week._ It was hard not to pay attention to him; he had bright orange hair, a sun-kissed tan that stood out, and everyone seemed to know who he was. Kiyoomi did not know who he was. But he was starting to wish he did.

Tuesdays. Kiyoomi spent two hours studying in the library after eating his lunch, before heading to his last class for the day. He sat at the same table, on the same floor, every week. A few tables over, with his back to him, the orange-head sat down exactly one hour after him and stayed when Kiyoomi left for class. There were always people with him, but the faces varied. None of which Kiyoomi knew.

Wednesdays and Saturdays. After his morning workout with the volleyball team he would shower and drink a protein smoothie in the recreation centre cafeteria and wait until his hair was completely air-dried, because going outside with wet hair might give him a cold or an ear infection. The orange-head would pass, alone for once, the cafeteria every time with headphones on and a big gym-bag over his shoulder. Kiyoomi couldn’t help but wonder what sport he participated in. It seemed he was serious about whichever sport it was too, because he looked so athletic. His outfits were tight, his arms and legs thick with muscle. It was only the spring in his walk, an undeniable lightness to his whole being, that prevented him from looking heavy like a weightlifter.

Fridays. They always cross paths when he’s on his way back to his dorm. Most of the time he’ll see him jog past his dorm building as he is approaching, a heavy looking backpack bouncing off his back almost comically. One time he paused before entering the building to see where he went and discovered that he lives in the dorm building next to his.

This pattern appeared only this semester; his last semester in university. He had never seen - or maybe just didn’t notice - him before. Who was he? Kiyoomi found his want to know overpowering his wish to stay on schedule.

He planned it out in his head beforehand. Since he knew when he’d see him, it was easy to think out when to talk to him and what to say. He’d preferred to reach out at the library, but the guy was literally never alone at that table. He didn’t want to shout after him as he jogged past the dorm, especially since the jogging maybe indicated he was in a hurry, so his only remaining choice was at the recreation centre.

However, when it came to it, even though he’d planned out what to say, it wasn’t easy to will thought into action. The first time was on a Saturday and he was able to open his mouth but became unable to speak and his chance passed in an orange blur. The week after he’d moved to a table closer to where he would pass, made a sound that became an embarrassing jumble of words and the orange hair passed once again without noticing a single thing.

Being the stubborn type; he wasn’t about to give up, but then the opportunity came to him on a silver platter in the form of a change in workout.

“They’re doing maintenance on the floor in the volleyball and basketball gym this weekend, so I’m changing up the program. A little variation will do us good; I think.” Their trainer told them in the wardrobe that Saturday morning. Murmurs spread across the team, while Kiyoomi waited in silence for instructions. A small grin spread on their trainer’s face and Kiyoomi knew immediately they were about to do something either hard or heavy.

“The beach volleyball club has kindly invited us to join their practise today, so we’ll do some basic training to get used to playing in sand and in teams of two, then end practise with some single set games, alright? Leave your shoes here and meet up at the sandpit in 5.”

“We have a beach volleyball club?”

“Yeah they just started up this semester, I saw the poster.”

“I heard they got some trainer from Brazil or something.”

“Brazil? Does he know Japanese?”

“I’m sure he knows English at least?”

Kiyoomi listened to the conversation of his teammates while he changed into his training gear. A Brazilian trainer? He really hoped he wasn’t expected to speak English. Plus he was worried what playing in the sand might do to his legs. What if he overworked them, or-

“Sakusa-san, have you ever seen their trainer?” Their team captain asked him. He snapped out of his thought-spiral and pulled his shirt down over his head.

“No, not knowingly. There’s a lot of foreigners on campus, but I wouldn’t be able to know where they come from just by looking.” He answered meticulously. His captain smiled.

“You’re right. Ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

He’s forgotten about the beach volleyball club. He remembered there being a poster on the board in the cafeteria. Remembered thinking there was no point of a whole new beach volleyball club when they had a powerhouse volleyball team.

To say he was shocked to see that the rumoured Brazilian beach volleyball trainer was in fact orange-head, is an understatement. He was dumbfounded. Frozen in the door as he lagged behind his teammates out the door to the sand pit and saw - and heard - him greet them as they came. His trainer behind him was the one to save him from becoming a permanent part of the doorway. Soon his hand was taken into the other’s and a bright sun shone up on him.

“Hinata Shõyõ, nice to meet you.”


	2. The boy from Brazil

It was the first time he got a proper look at his face. Up until then his eyes had always been caught up in that bright hair. An unusual colour, first of all, as well as its ability to radiate light even when light was scarce. A wave of recognition hit him, and he could see clearly on Hinata’s face that he was experiencing the same thing.

“Oh!” Hinata exclaimed in surprise. “You’re Sakusa!”

Suddenly it made sense why that hair had caught his attention so much. Although it stood out, it wasn’t like Hinata was the only one with weirdly coloured hair on the entire campus. There were people with all kinds of hairstyles there. But somehow Hinata had drawn him in. Years had passed since he saw him last.

He was still a little dumbfounded to have met him like this.

“Karasuno…” The words fell out of him, but he trailed off. Nationals, his second year of high school, the short, scrawny, loud kid on Kageyama’s team.

Hinata grinned wide. “You remember!”

“Yeah, you got a fever.” He frowned, the details pouring in. He’d been unimpressed back then. Hinata’s grin faltered, flinching. He scratched the back of his head.

“That’s what stuck with you, huh.”

“Yeah.”

“I learned a lot that day. I’ve become a lot better at taking care of myself since then, I promise.” He said with another easy smile and a light laugh. Kiyoomi nodded, not really knowing what to answer. He could see that he took good care of himself. He looked strong and healthy and full of energy. Or, well, he’d always been full of energy hadn’t he.

“Let’s talk after practice!”

He nodded without thinking. Then thought ‘ _why? We don’t really know each other.’_

Practice was hard. The sand was treacherous, making jumping twice as hard and their feet sore and heavy after only a couple of minutes. Hinata had them all try out without any instructions at first, letting them figure out the differences from playing in a gym by themselves. They were divided into duos, Kiyoomi teamed up with their captain, and practised serving and receiving for a couple of rounds to experience the sand. It only took fifteen minutes for them to start panting and wishing they were back at the gym.

“The sand makes it pretty hard, doesn’t it?” Hinata beamed at them. They groaned in agreement.

Hinata showed them his tricks to make the sand cooperate. He showed them how to jump and Kiyoomi saw him soar into the air like the sand was a trampoline. A flashback from nationals reeled in front of his eyes. The boy could jump back then, he could probably jump even higher now. He watched in awe as his body hung mid-air with perfect form and struck the ball with the sound that he knew all too well. A perfect hit on the volleyball, straight into the other team’s court. The bang of the ball hitting the floor never came, instead the soft thump of a ball burying itself into soft, white sand.

His teammates awed and applauded.

“Coach, did you learn volleyball in Brazil?” His team captain asked.

“Yeah! But I played regular volleyball in high school.”

More questions rained upon him about which school and if he ever went to nationals, but Kiyoomi stayed behind. Watching him answer questions until their own coach told them to stop bothering him to slack off and get back to work.

Brazil. How did he end up there?

He felt his curiosity ignite.

\--

Hinata told him to meet him in the cafeteria after showering. Practice had been ruthless, and his body was aching, but in the end, he’d gotten a little more hang of it. They were able to win a set against a team from the beach volleyball club too, which was satisfying. It was a good kind of ache and he didn’t think he would mind working out in the sand from time to time from now on. It’d been a little fun, when he wasn’t falling on his face into the sand.

He was waiting for him when Kiyoomi walked out of the locker room with his bag over his shoulder and smoothie in hand. He was on his phone and didn’t notice him coming, a bottle of what looked like protein shake beside him on the table. When Kiyoomi reached the table, he looked up and grinned.

“Are you tired, Sakusa-san?”

He was teasing him, Kiyoomi realised. A flash of defiance made him smirk. “Not at all.” He lied and sat down.

“I didn’t know you attended this university! If I’d know I’d reach out sooner.” Hinata sipped his drink.

So he hadn’t noticed him then. Or maybe he didn’t recognise him, like he hadn’t.

“This is my last semester. How did you end up here?”

Hinata didn’t even flinch at his bluntness. “I’m only here to coach. I just started last month”

“How did you go from Karasuno to Brazil of all places?”

“Ohh, it just happened that way. I needed to go somewhere I could grow.”

“You grew quite a lot.” The comment fell out of him before he knew it. He blinked, trying to will away a creeping blush, but Hinata just laughed.

“Beach volleyball will do that to you. Plus; I follow a strict schedule now.” He took a sip while Kiyoomi hummed in understanding. “You know, to avoid another time like that time.” He added in a softer tone, his eyes wandering away from their table.

Suddenly he felt guilty for making that comment earlier, which was weird because he really wasn’t the type to care whether people found his blunt personality mean or not. He found it was better to be honest in the long run anyway, even if some people couldn’t handle the truth.

“That’s a good plan.” He said.

Hinata had indeed grown a lot, and not just in a physical way. He watched him in silence as he coached them and he had really grown into an adult, almost acting beyond his years among the many students who were even older than him. Kiyoomi felt himself being drawn in and suddenly it made sense why this guy was never alone at the library. Even while they sat there in the cafeteria, people kept waving in greeting as they passed. How he’d been able to get to know that many people in just a little more than a month amazed him. He’d been at the school for four years and still hadn’t really made any close friends outside his team. He just wasn’t that good at making new friends in situations where you weren’t forced to socialize. He didn’t really mind the solidarity much. It made things less complicated.

“So you’re competing in the collegiate league, huh? That’s really cool, your coach talked about you a lot.” Hinata asked after the brief pause between them.

“Yes, it was the natural next step for me.”

“You’re entering the V-league next then?” Hinata asked, lighting up.

“Naturally.” He answered matter-of-factly. “Some teams have contacted me and invited me to their try-outs too.”

Hinata’s eyes glittered. “Really? Ahh, I’m envious. I’ve never been scouted, but I’m attending some try-outs soon myself. What if we get on to the same team? That would be cool, right?”

Kiyoomi watched him, processing this. He thought he wouldn’t like the thought, but when he thought about it more closely - he really didn’t mind _this_ Hinata being on his team.

“Only if you can keep up.” He answered, his mouth twitching with a smile. Hinata laughed.

“Don’t underestimate me.” He said with a grin so confident it sent shivers down Kiyoomi’s spine.


	3. Dark horse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've tagged this story as an alternative universe to give myself some freedom here, even beyond the fact that Hinata never went to Sakusa's uni. Don't get too caught up in the inconsistencies from canon and just let it happen and enjoy!

For the first time since Kiyoomi noticed Hinata sitting in front of him at the library, Hinata noticed him back. He was walking to his own table when he looked up and saw Kiyoomi at his regular desk. 

“Sakusa-san! I almost missed you. May I join you?” He said in a lowered but excited tone, while sitting down across from him regardless of the answer. Kiyoomi nodded in answer and took off his headphones. 

“How’s your body?” Hinata teased. The fact that his teasing was actually amusing to him instead of aggravating, was dawning on him. It was weird, and not like him to find that kind of attitude funny in others. Even though he was like this himself among close friends.

“I’m not sore from your training, if that’s what you’re implying.” He answered flatly, disguising his own slight amusement. Hinata was unphased, as always. 

“If you come by again, I’ll make sure to work you harder then.” That teasing smirk again, with that glint in his eye. He had to supress a groan at the thought of an even harder workout in the sand. 

“I won’t lose.” He said almost on instinct, which was a kind of silly answer considering how many times they’d lost against the beach volley club on Saturday. Hinata chuckled and started unpacking his stuff onto the table. Kiyoomi watched in interest. With Hinata being there to work it made him wonder what he was doing in the library at least one time a week, maybe more. 

“What’re you studying?” He asked as books were set on the table. They were theory books. Physical training theory, mindfulness, yoga, physical therapy… those were the titles that caught his eye, among the many. 

“I’ve improved a lot, but there’s infinite room for more.” Hinata said, opening up a thick, worn notebook he’d almost finished and started at the top of the pile; physical therapy. 

Kiyoomi had no answer to that, only an agreeing hum as a growing feeling of respect for the other settled itself in his chest. He had fallen, experienced a dark moment of despair, and now he was working tirelessly towards preventing that from happening ever again. 

The very brief impression he’d had of Hinata from his high school days was that he didn’t seem like the type who was able to sit still and study even for a few minutes. That Hinata was gone now; as he sunk into focus on his material the moment the book was open and stayed still and silently concentrated the entire time Kiyoomi was there. Because it didn’t disturb his own studying, he felt he enjoyed the company. Just having someone there at his table while he studied independently felt good. When his hour was up and he had to leave for class he hesitated, almost tempted to skip class for the very first time in order to stay in this nice atmosphere just a little longer. 

“I have class.” He said, breaking Hinata’s deep concentration. He got up, gathering his things. A small stagger in his movements, and then; “I sit here every day at this time. You’re welcome to join me, if you want.” He didn’t look at him when he said it, just looked at the things he was packing while his ears threatened to heat up with a bright red.

Hinata blinked at first, surprised probably, then smiled. “Sure! Thanks.”

“I don’t mind.” He added awkwardly, then stood to leave. “See ya.” 

“Yeah.” Hinata answered, looking a little dazed. 

They started crossing paths more often, now that Hinata knew where he was at a certain time of every day. Not only on Tuesdays, but almost every weekday the orange-haired coach turned up in front of him and sat with him for an hour or two, the two of them in complete silence the entire time. 

Kiyoomi felt himself starting to anticipate him coming. Not being able to fully concentrate until he too arrived. He adjusted to this new routine so fast it only took a few days for him to be subscribed to it. 

“How about we go grab some dinner when your class is over?” Hinata suggested after two weeks of studying together almost every day. Kiyoomi was packing up his things and paused at the question. He was checking in on himself, and found he liked the idea.

“Okay.” He answered. Hinata’s face glowed up like the sunlight had shifted in his direction.

“I’ll meet you outside the library?” 

He shook his head. He wanted to drop off his heavy bag first. “How about outside the dorms. Mine is next to yours.” 

A look of question in Hinata’s eyes; Kiyoomi realised he’d never said he saw him go into his dorm every Friday. “I saw you go into the dorm next to mine last Friday. “ He stuttered. “I didn’t get the chance to say hi - you were jogging.” He cursed inwardly at the warm feeling in his face. 

Hinata only smiled. “Okay, outside the dorms then.” 

Kiyoomi nodded and turned to leave in a hurry, pretending he was late for class.

He’d walked faster than usual back to his dorm that day. For the first time in a long time he was unsure of what to wear. He hadn’t gone out for food with anyone for a long time, other than with his team after practice or games. His old friends were all scattered and out of reach. He wasn’t close with anyone else on campus. 

He watched himself in the mirror and regarded his jeans and shirt with an unfamiliar insecurity. To feel comfortable again he grabbed his volleyball team jacket and zipped it up all the way until the collar covered the lower half of his face. He gave himself a dark look in he mirror. Get over it, stupid.

Hinata was waiting outside on the path between their dorms, texting on his phone.

“Hinata-kun.” He greeted once he was close enough for him to hear without him speaking up. Hinata looked up and smiled wide. 

“Sakusa-san! How was class?”   
“It was fine.” He answered. He’d been thinking of the spring tournament. How he’d been spiteful of all the players in Karasuno because they stopped him from having his last game with Wakatoshi before graduating. The team that took everyone by surprise. With a little giant soaring the skies.

“What do you want to eat?” Hinata asked him. He had no idea. He was hungry but didn’t really crave anything.   
“You decide.” He answered, and the youngers face turned almost comically thoughtful.   
“Then I say we splurge since it’s our first time eating together and go for some yakiniku.”

His stomach growled at that and he nodded. Hinata grinned back and went off in a brisk pace. Kiyoomi stayed by his side but slightly behind on the path and let him lead.

“Did you by any chance receive an offer from MSBY Black Jackals?” Hinata asked. Kiyoomi looked at him in surprise.  
“How’d you know?”  
“Ohh, great! I didn’t, but they accepted my entry for tryouts so I’m going to Osaka next month. I’m so excited to try out for a division 1 team!” Hinata was practically bouncing. Kiyoomi’s mouth twitched to smile.  
“I’m going then too.”   
“Great! Let’s go together then.”  
“I’m being picked up by my cousin.”  
“Ohh, I was going to take the bus.” Hinata faltered, looking a little disappointed.  
“I don’t like public transport. Too crowded.” He huffed, burying his face deeper into his jacket.  
“Ohh, okay. I’ll meet you there then!” Hinata was back in good spirits in record time. Kiyoomi hesitated for a bit, but then decided to just go for it.   
“You can come too, if you want.”  
“Really?! That would be really great.” Hinata beamed. Kiyoomi could swear his entire face lit up like a streetlight. He wasn’t sure how to respond; just nodded and walked on. 

Hinata guided him off campus and down a hill, through narrow and wide streets and past several restaurants, and seemed to know exactly where they were going. It made him wonder if this was something he did often with his seemingly large roster of friends. He glanced at the other as they walked and the other looked to be having some inner dialogue of his own. His brows were furrowed in concentration, his eyes intently on the path ahead. Then he abruptly went to a halt and Kiyoomi almost fell over the curb. 

“There it is! Best Yakiniku I town!”   
Kiyoomi twitched. He didn’t like it when people made statements like that without knowing for a fact that it was true.  
“How do you know it’s the best one?” He retorted. Hinata looked at him in surprise.  
“It won an award!” He answered like it was a widely known fact he’d missed out on.

Kiyoomi blinked at the serious look Hinata was giving him and suddenly a chuckle escaped his mouth. Hinata grinned back. He was surprised; Hinata didn’t seem like the type to prepare. Do research. Maybe he was learning a lesson on not judging people’s character on impressions alone, he thought to himself. Hinata was surprising him every time they met. There was always something new to learn about him. 

Hinata was already far ahead of him; he’d lagged behind in thought.   
“Sakusa-san!” Hinata called, holding the door open for him.   
“You can call me Kiyoomi.” He told him as he passed him through the door and into the warm air of hot coal and smell of perfectly cooked meat.


	4. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm using this fic to get back into writing and WOW am I rusty, but while writing this chapter I felt a little looser in my hinges so that will explain the sudden appearance of very long paragraphs compared to before. Hello inner monologue!

He was getting into the whole beach volley thing. While eating dinner together Hinata had laid forth a very strong case for the benefits of using beach volley to train for regular volleyball. In general, he said he’d learned in his first year of high school that 2-on-2 matches were really good practise. He also had this whole speech about ball boys, which Kiyoomi didn’t quite catch on to. 

He’d been convinced to come for another training session in the sand pit the same week. Just the two of them against two of the beach volley club members. Having Hinata coach him had been one thing but having him on his own team was incredibly satisfying. He was a great player to play with, always going headfirst for the ball and making receives and sets that he could easily approve of. By the end of their practise he’d been aching and soaked and there was sand in places he didn’t know sand could stick to. But he had so much fun. He hadn’t felt like volleyball was this fun for a long time. And he had Hinata to thank for it.

Then he started joining in on beach volley practise once a week. He talked to his coach about it and was able to convince him of skipping their practise to go to beach volley practise. He said he would promise good results, and he was getting excited over the fact that his body was so tired after each time in the sandpit that he could almost feel himself getting stronger. And he was not letting go of beach volley until he in the least felt like he’d got a little hang of it. It was like a challenge by then. Mastering a new skill.

“You didn’t fall over a single time today, Omi-san” Hinata told him after his first practise with the club. The younger had struggled at calling him Kiyoomi when he’d told him to, so he’d asked politely if it was okay to use a nickname. It was a bit too cute-sounding to his taste, but he didn’t protest it either.  
“You’re keeping count?” He asked, breathing heavily after their last rally that had stretched out far longer than he was able to keep up for in the treacherous sand.

Hinata laughed at him. “No, nothing like that. I just noticed your balance is better.” 

He thought about it for a second, buried his bare foot in the sand and shifted his weight here and there. “I guess it is.”

“You’ll be friends with the sand in no time if you keep going like this.” Hinata told him before he left to give feedback to the club members before they left.

Hinata would hang back after the practises and wait for Kiyoomi outside the locker rooms. The coaches had their own locker room and Hinata was a lot faster than him in getting ready. Depending on his schedule, Hinata would join him for the walk and then turn off towards the library, or they’d go to the library together. As they got more used to walking together, they started talking more and he was surprised to realise that the younger didn’t really talk about himself that much. He was almost always talking, yes, but he was either talking about volleyball, training, other people or asking him things. What surprised him even more was the growing feeling of wanting to know more about him.

“Hinata-kun.”  
“Hm?” Hinata had stopped them on the way to the library to buy a milk bun and was munching heartily when he came back outside to where Kiyoomi was waiting. Hinata watched him with curious eyes, cheeks filled with bun, making him look like a chipmunk. He forgot what he was going to say. 

“What is it?” Hinata asked, stepping closer to him. Kiyoomi could feel himself heat up and quickly zipped up his jacket to hide his face in the collar. He turned away and walked briskly.

“Nothing.”  
“What? You were going to say something.” Hinata kept up with him easily, of course, and kept stuffing his mouth with milk bun every chance he got, his cheeks just growing into a comical size. 

Kiyoomi couldn’t hold it in anymore. His stomach hurt from holding it. The laughter rolled out of him like a dam had been blown up. Hinata looked at him in puzzlement.

“Wha-what is it?”  
“You look like a chipmunk!” He wheezed. He couldn’t walk anymore, he had to hold his own stomach, the laughter was wrecking him. He hadn’t laughed like that since he was a kid. Proper, loud, gut-destroying laughter. “Ohh my God.” He groaned.

Hinata wasn’t joining in, but his milk bun was done for and his cheeks back to normal. He was only blinking, and was… was he blushing?

“I’ve never heard you laugh like that before.” Hinata said, sounding baffled. He was staring at him, so Kiyoomi hid his face again, calming down by then save for a few huffs of aftershock. Hinata leaned over to try get a better look at his face. He looked very curious, as if Kiyoomi was hiding something very exciting from him. He took off walking to avoid the embarrassment of being observed while flushed.

“Hey, wait up! Omi-san!” Hinata called after him, catching up in no time. “Don’t run away.” 

“You’re staring, I don’t like it.” He answered promptly, but not in a tone that made him sound angry. 

“It was nice! I liked it!” Hinata tried to reason with him, relentlessly keeping up but no longer trying to see his face through the jacket collar. He gave a little more distance and Kiyoomi felt a little calmer, so he slowed his pace to a normal walk.

“You have a beautiful laugh.” Hinata told him; smiling, red-cheeked, oh-so-charming. Kiyoomi realized he was in big trouble. This was the exact reason he kept to himself. The biggest reason. He couldn’t get attached like that; it would destroy what they had. 

Hinata’s brows furrowed while Kiyoomi went on an inner downward spiral with wide eyes.  
“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said softly, taking another step back.  
Kiyoomi barely registered what he said, but it was enough for him to feel guilty.

“No, it’s not like that, I-“ He had no excuse lined up and stumbled on his words and thoughts. “I just remembered something I’d forgot. Sorry.” He mumbled.

He could tell Hinata didn’t buy it, but he was generous enough to pretend he did and let it go. 

They’d reached the library by then and Kiyoomi realised he would have to sit with Hinata in silence for two hours while having his internal panic and thought he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He looked over at the other, trying to think of a way to excuse himself and then go sit somewhere else but as their eyes met, he couldn’t make himself lie. Hinata was looking at him with no particular expression on his face other than pure observation. He was reading him like he was an opponent on the volleyball court, trying to figure him out. And he didn’t care if he was being obvious, it seemed. 

A deep breath. Then it felt like it would be okay. They’d sit together and do their thing and he was fine. Hinata’s nice. Maybe he’d understand.


	5. "I'm here to win"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm lazy and to me and my non-native English speaker ears Shouyou sounds all kinds of wrong when compared to the Japanese pronunciation, so I'm staying with Shoyo. Okay? Good.

The electric excitement he usually felt before a game made his muscles ripple with waves of tension. He felt enhanced in some way, whenever this feeling consumed him. He was at the top of his game. He was strong and healthy and ready to make the performance of his life. He was going to the tryouts for MSBY Black Jackals.

His cousin Motoya was driving. Hinata was in the back seat, the two of them chatting while Kiyoomi watched the road, already preparing his mind. He’d tuned them out to focus, their voices but a hum at the back of his mind.

“I’m so excited to see Bokuto-san again, I haven’t seen him since the spring tournament my first year!”  
“Ohh, you’re close?”  
“We still text from time to time. I learned a lot from him during our training camps together.”  
“You went all the way to Tokyo for training camps?”  
“Yeah, Karasuno has this thing with Nekoma, there’s a history between the two old coaches.”  
“Ohhright, I remember your game. It looked like you had a lot of fun.”  
“Yeah, that game was the most fun I’ve ever had.”  
“It was fun to watch too, you were really neck-to-neck all the way through.”  
“I wish I could relive it.”  
“I know how you feel.”  
“Do you have a game you want to play again?”  
“Oh yeah, several. I sometimes wish I could go back and watch it from the audience too, you know?”  
“Right!”  
“And feel the excitement from the crowd when I do an amazing save. That would be so cool.”  
“Ahhh, I want that too. You’re a libero, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Do you still play?”  
“Yeah, I’m on EJP Raijin.”  
“Whoaaah, that’s Division 1!”  
“Actually, an old teammate of Bokuto is on my team. He told me to say hi to Bokuto for him today. You probably know him too, Washio Tatsuki?”  
“Their huge middle blocker! He’s really good.”  
“He is.”  
“There’s another player you probably know on Black Jackals, right? Miya Atsumu?”  
“Yeah!”  
“We know him from youth camp, right Kiyoomi-kun?”

Kiyoomi had been half listening for a while, their conversation having drifted through the barriers of his concentration. When Motoya actually directed his question at him, however, he felt like he was awakened from a slumber.

“Huh? Uhh, yeah. Right. He was strange.” He answered, a little disgruntled.

“Atsumu-san is a lot of fun, I think.” Hinata said cheerfully.  
“He’s an ass.” Kiyoomi retorted. Motoya laughed.  
“Miya is the exact type of person to make Kiyoomi here lose his mind.”

Kiyoomi glanced up at the rear-view mirror to see Hinata’s puzzled expression.

“Really? How come?”  
“He’s too…” Kiyoomi couldn’t quite find the right word.  
“loud?” Motoya offered, but he shook his head. He didn’t want Hinata to think he disliked his energy. Hinata had a different kind of energy that actually didn’t bother him.  
“Obnoxious.” He said with a frown. Motoya laughed again.  
“Jeez, don’t be so harsh on him.” He said between breaths. Hinata looked so confused it almost made Kiyoomi laugh too. 

\--

“My student!!! You’re home!!” Bokuto basically barrelled down little Hinata as soon as he saw them come into the gym.  
“Bokuto-san!” Hinata greeted back with a shout, taking the hug head on with no fear or hesitation. Bokuto lifted him up as they hugged, then let him down immediately.  
“Man, I’m so excited you’re here, I’m rooting for you to the coaches alright? I want you on this team as soon as possible.”  
“Thank you so much!” 

Kiyoomi left them to their own, wandering over to the benches where everyone seemed to have dumped their bags. They were early, but it was clear they were not the only ones. The gym was very crowded, players and coaches and managers running all over the place with uniforms from various high schools and universities. He fished his face mask out from his bag and put it on to feel more comfortable. Crowds made him nervous. 

“Oooh, I thought I heard someone mention ya were coming.” A familiar, unpleasant voice came from behind him.  
“Miya.”  
“Sakusa.” He did a short mock bow to compliment their awkward greeting. “Ready to shine?”  
“Always.”  
“I won’t hold back for you.”  
“As if you’d ever.” He bit back, hiding a slight smirk behind his mask. Atsumu chuckled, clearly loving their banter.  
“You’re right.”

“Atsumu-san!”  
“Shoyo-kun, please give Bokuto a lot of attention today, he won’t shut up about you coming here. I’m this close to having dreams about you at night.” He joked with a lopsided smile. Hinata blushed but looked like he’d been called the best volleyball player in Japan. Kiyoomi couldn’t help but smile behind his mask.  
“I’ll do my best!” He declared, clearly getting overly excited. The Hinata from high school shined through his more grown up exterior.  
“That’s right. You’re here to join the team, right?” Atsumu hyped.  
“I’m here to win!” Hinata declared with a stance so like a superhero, Kiyoomi almost snortlaughed.

\--

They were divided into two teams; Kiyoomi and Hinata on the same team with Atsumu as the setter from the Black Jackals roster. The other team had Bokuto and the team’s libero Inunaki as existing members and the rest of the team potential new members of the team. After playing so much beach volleyball together, Kiyoomi and Hinata worked well together without needing time to sync up. Atsumu caught on their wavelength in no time and soon the three of them were the stars of the play, save the ridiculous spikes Bokuto threw at them from time to time.

He could feel they were lifting each other up to new heights. Hinata was grinning with a lingering sense of hunger for more, Atsumu was tossing at them so perfectly it felt like he didn’t have to think about the ball at all. Just jump and think of where to hit. The blockers on the other side had zero chance against his angles and Hinata’s jumps, when they hadn’t had time to make a blocking system together beforehand. They won the first set with a comfortable lead.

The second set they were mixed up again. Hinata stayed on team with Atsumu, but Kiyoomi was sent to the other team with a tryout setter that didn’t play the first set and Bokuto. He didn’t really know Bokuto very well, but in many ways he reminded him of Hinata. But while Hinata worked excellently as both decoy and speed cannon, Bokuto was a star cannon that crushed everything in his path. Despite his impression on others, he seemed like a thoughtful and calculated spiker and Kiyoomi respected that. And it seemed he had shaken off those mood swings he was so famous for back in high school.

Trying to block Hinata was a nightmare. He was tall and calm, and therefore a pretty decent blocker, but Hinata was too damn fast. And Atsumu was keeping up with him like a mad scientist on an experiment. He could see them communicate non-verbally. Every time there was room for a quick set, Hinata would jump earlier and earlier, as if to test where Atsumu’s limit lay. They never got to that limit, because their team took the set. 

They carried on for several more sets, mixing up the teams every time, some players out for some sets and others not. Kiyoomi and Hinata stayed on for all of them, drenched in sweat towards the end but having more and more fun as they were teamed up more and more often. It was clear that the MSBY trainers and managers saw something in their teamwork, and Kiyoomi thanked his past self for getting into beach volley with Hinata. 

After stretching and cooldown, they were gathered in front of the trainers and managers letting them know the results would be announced within two weeks and they would all receive emails with details when the time came. Kiyoomi felt confident he’d receive an offer. He glanced over at Hinata, who looked both panicked and serene at the same time; a comical display of disguising very external emotions. He was pretty sure the younger made it too, he’d played perfectly all day and showed an incredible tenacity and agility that exceeded many current Division 1 players, in Kiyoomi’s mind.  
He felt a small surge of pride for the younger. Over their weeks of growing friendship, he’d been able to pry out deeper details of Hinata’s tale of struggle against his own lack of skill, height and the following discrimination. His hardships had been many and Kiyoomi’s growing respect was also turning into admiration.

“Shoyo-kun, you are an absolute monster.” A very worn out Atsumu greeted them both as they left the shower room, changed back into their casual clothes. Bokuto and Atsumu had been waiting for them with Motoya. 

Hinata grinned, his cheeks flushed and hair wet and wild, but looking like he could still play an entire game. 

“Today was really fun. I didn’t want it to end!” Hinata answered with bliss practically radiating from him.

“I expect we’ll have many more chances to play together again soon.” Atsumu told him with a cheeky smile, then turned to Kiyoomi. “You didn’t doubt my sets today, did you?”

“Your sets are creepy, but easy to hit.” He answered with reluctance. He didn’t want to compliment him, but at the same time Atsumu had performed so perfectly he couldn’t shoot him down for anything. It was annoying him more that he wanted to admit. Atsumu only shook his head with a smile, completely unphased by his unfriendliness.

“I was thinking we’d go for dinner together before you go. Komori-kun says you have some time to spare.” Bokuto suggested.

“Barbeque!” Hinata immediately demanded.  
“No doubt.” Atsumu agreed. 

Kiyoomi nodded in agreement and the four of them left for a restaurant Bokuto frequented. He lagged behind a little, Motoya staying by his side from habit, and watched the three remaining men walk ahead of them. Hinata was walking in the middle, the star of the show, the clear centre of attention. The two older were completely immersed by him, engaged in light, fast conversation about volleyball and Hinata’s job at the university. 

Something made Atsumu laugh out loud, holding his stomach and bending over, feet staggering. The two others joined in, watching him in amusement. When Atsumu straightened again, he told Hinata something that made him shy enough to hide his face and he threw an arm around his shoulder with affection.

Kiyoomi’s entire brain zoomed in on that arm and Hinata’s clear embarrassment like he’d hit an alarm button. And ugly, black lump formed in his gut, making it hard to breathe.


	6. Freedom

Miya Atsumu had somehow managed to obtain both really good _and_ really bad social skills. He was always talking, always joking, but would then suddenly turn serious like an ambush about the most random things. He wasn’t an easy guy to be around, but somehow both Hinata and Bokuto seemed to be having fun talking to him. Kiyoomi couldn’t find a way in. He was left on the side lines, though seated beside Hinata and therefore in the middle of everyone’s attention, with no way to join the fast back-and-forth between the three. Motoya had long since given up on them and was entertaining himself on his phone, seated at the end of the table meant for four people.

“I mean, when ball went like _swoop_ and I went just went for it, suddenly Atsumu-san was there and then _swosh_ Bokuto-san was flying and the ball was already on the other side of the court, that was really amazing, do you do it often, is it your signature move or something?” Hinata was rambling, but Bokuto was completely immersed while Atsumu grinned with pleasure because he was being complimented left and right by Hinata no less. Hinata with his new reputation and blatant talent that exceeded most expectations from the people who judged him by his appearance only, but somehow managed to think himself as inferior to everyone else seated at the table. Hinata with the hunger to grow like no other. Kiyoomi felt himself getting almost annoyed at how he put himself down by being so obviously impressed by plays he could easily pull off himself with his crazy athleticism.

“We’ve done it a few times, but it only works as perfectly as today maybe every third time we try it, but today was a good opportunity to practice it.” Atsumu answered Hinata with a tone so pleased Kiyoomi felt like he was being dragged into syrup.

He drank an entire glass of water in one go in annoyance to keep himself from coming with rude remarks. It would only make him seem petty and would only feel good for a millisecond, then he’d feel rotten and cheap. All he could do without much annoying consequence was watch in silence and think silently in his own head that he wished Atsumu would take that pleased grin of his and shove it into the grill. Motoya side-eyed him like he could sense the aura he was projecting. Maybe if he thought about it hard enough, he could make Atsumu shiver under his cold stare.

“It only really works if we have a good decoy, so today it was all thanks to your convincing effort in trying to save the ball instead of ‘Tsumu.” Bokuto said humbly, scratching his head.

“Ahh, the meat is here.” Motoya exclaimed, setting his phone down. 

“I’m so hungry, aaaa!” Hinata was almost bouncing in his seat. Bokuto was drooling across from him, his fingers twitching to put the meat on the grill even before the plate was put down on their table.

Kiyoomi saw his chance to move.

“I’ll grill it.” He declared, taking the tongs from Atsumu’s hand before he could claim the task.

“Are you good at grilling meat too, Omi-san?” Hinata looked at him with a seriousness that could only be seen in true lovers of barbecued meat. He nodded a single time.

“Omi-kun takes grilling meat very seriously. It’s perfect every time.” Motoya added helpfully, smiling at him like he’d realised something he shouldn’t.

Atsumu was unfazed, as usual. “I’ll entrust this important task to you then _Omi-chan._ ”

Kiyoomi twitched at the nickname. “You don’t get to call me that.” He retorted before he could think of shutting up. He regretted it immediately, knowing all to well that Atsumu was the type to now fully embrace this nickname just because he made that comment. He’d never be rid of it. But he really didn’t like how it sounded so patronizing.

“Ah, sorry, I got carried away.” Atsumu answered with poorly hidden sarcasm.

Hinata looked at him and their eyes met for a second. Kiyoomi could practically read his mind, his expression was so screamingly obvious.

“When you do, it’s fine.” He was quick to add, feeling bad for causing the mild panic in Hinata’s eyes. Hinata grinned immediately, while Bokuto laughed.

“ahh, Sakusa-kun, you’re too cold.” Atsumu said jokingly in the way he said everything jokingly, so you never knew if he was genuinely unphased or actually covering up actual hurt. Kiyoomi eyed him but didn’t say anything.

The meat was consumed in record speed every time Kiyoomi finished cooking a new batch. Bokuto, Atsumu and Hinata ate like starved wolves, though Hinata made sure to pick some meat from the grill and set onto his plate too in between his own chewing. He sent him a grateful look after the second time, earning a smile of the rarer sort among Hinata’s many bright expressions. A smaller, more private smile than the usual toothy grins he’d flash in every direction when he was pleased.

The lump in his stomach dissolved thanks to that smile, his shoulders letting go of a tension he’d forgotten about.

They had to leave as soon as they were done eating, much to Hinata’s despair because he wanted to ask the two Black Jackals players more questions about their team. Motoya had been generous to drive them so far and he had practice with his team the next morning, Kiyoomi knew. The drive would take them around five to six hours to get back to campus, so they wouldn’t arrive until late in the evening even if they had left even earlier.

“Komori-san, thank you so much for driving us so far. I wish I had a licence so I could help out.” Hinata babbled as soon as they’d gotten into the car after a quick goodbye to the others.

“I don’t mind, Hinata-kun, I had fun seeing you play today. It made me want to hurry up and get to practice tomorrow.”

“You played really well today.” Kiyoomi blurted a little clumsily, while struggling with the seatbelt. Motoya helped him after giving him an amused look.

“Thank you! I felt really good today, everything seemed so clear and I had so much fun playing with Bokuto and Atsumu.” Hinata beamed.

“It must’ve felt good to play with a setter that allow you to do your crazy quicks again like Kageyama, huh?” Motoya asked, backing the car out of the parking space and looking at Hinata in the backseat at the same time as he was looking out the rear window.

Hinata staggered a little at that. Kiyoomi was eyeing him in the rear-view mirror and he saw the millisecond glitch in Hinata’s beaming expression. It was like he was a recording and it lagged for just a single frame. Then he was back like nothing had happened.

“Yeah! I haven’t been able to do those in a long time, no one could quite keep up as accurately. But I decided to see if Atsumu was up for it today and he didn’t budge even once.”

“Have you played together before?” Kiyoomi asked.

“No, but when we played against Atsumu and his twin brother at the spring tournament they copied our quick. Kageyama had better precision than Atsumu back then, but Atsumu has grown a lot since then, obviously.”

“Ohh, right, Osamu. The Miya twins were really famous for their near telepathic teamwork in High School, I remember.” Motoya smiled.

“Yeah.” Hinata agreed, but Kiyoomi could see he was drifting away from the conversation; his gaze pulled out of the windows and the scenery in passing.

“Did it make you happy to know there were other setters out there who would be able to keep up with you aside from Kageyama?” Kiyoomi asked after a few minutes of silence, eyeing Hinata as he did. Hinata returned from whatever faraway place he’d gone in his mind and met his eyes with an expression Kiyoomi had never seen on him before. It seemed like a very unlikely mix of emotions. Kiyoomi wasn’t very good at reading people, so it was beyond him what it meant.

“It made me really happy. When the twins copied our quick that time I knew for the first time in a long time that I didn’t have to depend on Kageyama to be able to play volleyball. Before that I didn’t know what use I had on the court other than being able to score points with quicks or as a decoy. If Kageyama was subbed out, so was I. I hated that my time on the court depended on him and his ability, and not my own ability.”

He said these words softly, his eyes on Kiyoomi but not looking into them. He’d drifted into memories of a past self.

“That desperation to grow into a better player was what drove me to work harder on becoming good at _everything_. In beach volleyball you have to be exactly that, so that was why I decided to learn it. It was a painful but necessary feeling for me to grow back then. And now I’m free.”

His gaze focused on Kiyoomi at that last sentence, binding them together with an indescribable connection of understanding. He knew that quote all too well:

_To be good at something, is to be free._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, I just love that quote so much and it was RIGHT THERE being so perfect for that setting so I just had to add it in. I am sorry for stealing even more from you, Furudate *bows*


	7. Motivation

Kiyoomi and Hinata was hooked on beach volley. As a team they were coming together very nicely, much to the annoyance of Hinata’s students who were just about done with being so blatantly overpowered by the two professional-level players ganging up on them. Teamwork with Hinata was like a dream. He was incredibly intuitive and paid as much attention to every detail as he did. And the hunger for the ball was possibly even higher than his own. This resulted in them crashed together in a heap of limbs and sand more than once per game, but they only laughed it off and moved on, silently promising to pay more attention to each other the next time.

While Kiyoomi had been playing beach volley only once a week at first, he was now joining in on the weekend as well. His coach had warned him not to overexert himself, but he’d assured him that he had it under control and that he was going easier on his other solo training sessions to make sure he got enough rest. Hinata was not as easily convinced, but also loved having him there, so his compromise was to make their practices shorter and less intense when they were just the two of them.

His main motivation was that he was feeling the differences over a short time. He was learning fast again, a feeling he’d missed in regular volleyball because at his level his training was mostly about enhancing, nit-picking and learning team strategies and plays. Those took time and the change was there, but unnoticeable in its subtlety. In beach volley the pace was rapid because he had the basic skills from volleyball but had to adjust them to a new setting and a different way of teamwork. It was exhilarating.

But to say being able to play along with Hinata wasn’t another major motivation to join practice would be a to lie. Like he did with just about everyone he met; Hinata had drawn him in. He was usually so reluctant to get to know new people, and especially he upbeat kind that he was, but even he seemed to be unable to resist the power of Hinata Shoyo. The human sunray.

“Good bump!” Hinata called to him, running up to get below the ball and set it to him. He planted his feet steadily on the sand and ran up to the net and leaped high to hit the ball across. The ball buried itself deeply into the sand on the other side, a choir of groans from the opposing team throwing themselves to the ground to save it a moment too late. They won the set, and the pretend game.

He was panting, he was sweating, he was covered in sand and his legs were heavy and tired. Hinata was already across the court to give pointers to the opposing team, while Kiyoomi sagged down and lay on his back in the soft and comfortable sand. He closed his eyes to protect them against the stark ceiling lights. It was Saturday evening. It was dark outside. He had an essay to write, but he decided then and there that he would do it the next day. His body needed a day off.

“Finally become friends with the sand?” Hinata plopped down beside him and began stretching. Kiyoomi looked to the side and opened a single eye.

“I guess.”

“That was a good jump. I almost set the ball too low for you, I didn’t expect it.”

Kiyoomi sat up and began stretching himself.

“I’m starting to get the hang of it, I think. Thanks to you.” He said without looking at him. He knew he’d blush if he did.

“It’s fun though, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It feels good to be learning fast again. To actually feel the difference between each time.”

“You make it sound like beach volley is so easy.” Hinata laughed. Kiyoomi blushed.

“Ahh, I didn’t mean it like that, I-“

“I know, I know.”

Kiyoomi huffed.

“I know what you mean.” Hinata added. “It’s really satisfying.”

Kiyoomi hummed and they stretched in silence. He was trying to form some kind of sentence that could make it okay for them to hang out after they were done. He felt like he needed some kind of excuse. That their relation hadn’t reached a level where they could hang out for no reason or purpose. He couldn’t think of a reason, too caught up in trying to find words that made sense in a sentence, working himself up until he questioned every combination of words that appeared in his mind.

“Ahh, I’m starving.” Hinata whined, plopping down onto his back in the sand after finishing his last stretching.

Kiyoomi’s mind pictured a lightbulb.

“Do you…” He cleared his throat; his words muddy. “Do you want to get dinner?”

Hinata sat up abruptly and turned to him like he’d answered correctly to a quiz question and won a billion yen.

“Yes!” He beamed. “Let’s go!”

He grabbed hold of Kiyoomi’s arm and dragged him up to a stand with surprising strength.

“Uhh, I need to shower first-“ He said, dishevelled and overwhelmed.

“Well of course, dummy, but I’m hungry so let’s hurry.”

This was not how Kiyoomi had pictured himself getting dragged into a shower with another boy in his private mind. Hinata was surprisingly rough, manhandling him into the locker room, quickly got naked, then impatiently waited for Kiyoomi to undress, only to guide him to the showers with the impatience of a child once he was. Kiyoomi didn’t even have time to be embarrassed. He barely had time to register that he was seeing Hinata naked for the first time, because he was there one moment and in a different shower stall the next.

For several minutes he stood under the shower spray completely still in frozen confusion and delayed reaction. Hinata was even bulkier than he appeared in clothing, he’d noticed. His arms and legs had become thick, yes, he’d seen that before, but he had not seen just how toned that chest and stomach was. He might be a lot shorter than his own 190cm self, but it was highly likely Hinata was trumping him in strength.

And _that_ was an idea he did not know he’d react to.

“You done?” Hinata’s voice was suddenly behind him, jerking him out of his own thoughts, making him start.

“Almost!” He exclaimed. He didn’t dare turn around, because he was 80% sure he was just the right amount of excited down there for it to be noticeable.

“Omi-san.” Hinata was still there. _Why was he still there?!_

“Yes?” He answered tensely.

“I need a favour.”

“Okay?” He blushed again.

“My bag. It’s in the teacher’s locker room and my clothes are in there.”

The mixture of his own tense self, the direction his mind had gone and the situation Hinata had put himself in was enough to make Kiyoomi burst out laughing with a volume way higher than he could ever remember.

“I forgot we’re in separate locker rooms, I’m sorry. Could you go get it for me?” Hinata elaborated, only making it worse by sounding embarrassed. Kiyoomi finally turned around and turned off his shower. Hinata was wearing a towel around his waist, and had another in his hands, but his face was red, and he was scratching his wet, flat mop of hair.

His laughter simmered out when Hinata didn’t join him, but he did smile slightly when their eyes finally met, and he saw that Kiyoomi was smiling.

“Do you have keys or something?” He asked, grabbing the towel Hinata was holding.

“Yeah.”

He dried himself quickly, getting dressed in his lazy weekend outfit - not really suited for dinner out but whatever, he wasn’t going to make Hinata wait even longer just so he could change into jeans.

“It’s the black one with the Brazilian flag on it.” Hinata called after him when he left the locker room. They were lucky it was Saturday evening and most people didn’t use the facilities at that time of day. He found the bag quickly, left on a bench, neatly packed and closed up. He returned from his mission with flourish, opening the door to the wardrobe with a dramatic pose, holding the bag up like a victorious champion returning home with a prize. That seemed to cure Hinata of his embarrassment and the younger man laughed and cheered, much to Kiyoomi’s enjoyment.

It was very out of character of him, but it seemed that Hinata was bringing something out of him from deep inside, that had kept hidden for a very long time.

“What do you want for dinner?” He asked while Hinata was getting dressed.

“Ramen?” He suggested. There was a ramen place on campus that most students frequented. It wasn’t small, but because it was so popular it was always very crowded and therefore cramped. Kiyoomi hated the place, because the air felt stuffy and the crowd too close for comfort. He flinched at the thought of going there, but Hinata couldn’t see because his back was turned. But it seemed his hesitation to answer was clue enough.

“Or maybe we should go try that shabu shabu place in town?”

“Which one?” He tried to think of which he’d been to. Their campus was almost like a town of its own, but it was on top of a hill and if you went down that hill it led you to a medium sized commuter town with a decent sized city centre. It was still a part of Tokyo, but in the outskirts. There was a vast amount of restaurants in the area due to the heavy population density of working class people with little room for cooking in their apartments.

“The new one on the corner just when you come down the stairs behind the library.”

Behind the library there was a long set of stairs leading down a cliffside to town. It was a popular shortcut when going down but going back up was a full workout. He remembered Hinata mentioning using those stairs for endurance training.

“I don’t know it, but that’s fine.” He answered, trying to seem more casual after turning down the first option so clumsily. He was hoping it would be fine, at least. A new restaurant could mean it was either almost empty or full to the brim. He was hoping for the latter. He hadn’t told Hinata about his issue with crowds and didn’t really want to tell him either. It wasn’t something that naturally came up as a topic of conversation. Hinata smiled at him, finally fully dressed and ready to leave, and then they were on their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm posting these chapters as I write, just publishing whatever comes out of each writing session I do. Because of that the chapters may not seem like proper or full chapters and so on. This is an exercise to get me back into the writing groove again, so please excuse the potentially lacking plot as this unplanned story unfolds on its own with zero end goal in mind other than getting these two together somehow and making it somewhat sweet underway. I hope you're enjoying yourselves though. I know I am.


	8. Radiation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute, hasn't it?  
> I hit a writing wall. But I'm back now and hopefully my brain will allow me to dive into this universe a few more times before I end this story.

The restaurant was empty, much to Kiyoomi’s relief. It had plenty of space, but it seemed word hadn’t quite got around yet. They were greeted with much enthusiasm and given menu with set options. The sets were different combinations of veggies and meat types, as well as choices of broths. He looked at it for a moment, glanced over at Hinata, thinking he wasn’t really up for choosing.

“Just get whatever you want the most, I’m fine with whatever.”

“Really?” Hinata looked almost worried for him. Kiyoomi didn’t have the same level of obsession over food that he had, but Hinata didn’t seem to be aware that different levels of interest in food existed.

“I’ll ask for the house special then.”

“Alright.”

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“Water is fine. I’m thirsty from practice.”

“Yeah, me too.”

The middle-aged woman that greeted them when they entered seemed to be the only one at work. She approached them with a pitcher of water, cups and a box of chopsticks. Hinata ordered for them and she told them the special broth was a family recipe. He smiled brightly at her and Kiyoomi could see the effect on her - the same effect Hinata had on everyone he smiled at. Like he shared some of that personal radiation he seemed to project when in a good mood. Human sunshine. He scoffed at his own cheesy thoughts.

Hinata’s eyebrows twitched and his eyes caught Kiyoomi’s. “What?”

Kiyoomi immediately blushed for being caught. “Nothing, I was just thinking of something else.”

“What was it?”

Kiyoomi hesitated. “I don’t think you’ll get it.” He mumbled.

Hinata frowned. He was curious now, Kiyoomi could see it on him. A dog with a bone.

He sighed.

“I just- I was thinking that you’re like…” He trailed off, struggling to find words that sounded less cheesy. Less like he was falling for the guy.

Hinata waited patiently, watching him with curious interest.

“You’re…”

He struggled so much! God, why did he have to struggle so much. It was pathetic. And he was making it even more embarrassing for himself too. He should’ve just said what he’d thought in the first place and not tried to edit it.

“You’re like a human sun.” He said quietly, closing his eyes, flinching at the words. He was too scared to see his reaction. Frankly; he wanted to teleport back to his dorm room and hide in his bed.

Hinata chuckled. “I get that a lot.”

Kiyoomi opened his eyes. Hinata was pouring their water, unbothered. He felt his shoulders fall and relaxed, reaching out for his cup while it filled with liquid.

“I guess you do, huh.” He said half to himself, half out loud.

“I blame my hair. It runs in the family.”

“Huh?” Kiyoomi stared at Hinata in surprise.

“Oh, you didn’t think it’s natural?” Hinata said teasingly.

Kiyoomi shook his head.

“Yeah, you and everyone.”

“Your hair is really orange?”

“Yup.”

“But you’re Japanese.” Kiyoomi said matter-of-factly. Hinata laughed at that, seemingly having fun from watching Kiyoomi’s baffled expression.

“There’s a grandfather. A gene. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s there. All his ancestors have this hair colour.

Kiyoomi was speechless for a few moments. They drank their water and their food arrived at the table on a cart. The woman lit the gas and poured the broth, arranged their ingredients on the table and told them to wait for the broth to boil before turning down the heat. She showed Hinata how to control the heat before she left them alone.

“It’s not the hair.” Kiyoomi blurted. Hinata look back up at him with interest.

“Your personality. It radiates energy. It makes the people around you gain energy as well.”

Hinata blushed a little at that. Kiyoomi felt a tug of courage.

“I noticed back then too. At the spring tournament. Your team was practically infected with it during the Nekoma match.”

Hinata looked at his bowl of rice.

“That was a really good game.” He said eventually, after a silence that made Kiyoomi so nervous he stopped breathing. The breath came out of him like it was squeezed out of him.

“I think it was the best game of the tourney.” He said. “Or, well, I didn’t get to watch much of it but people talked about it forever.”

“Yeah, it was the most fun I’ve ever had on court.”

“I hope you can have fun like that again.” Kiyoomi said sincerely.

The broth started boiling properly and Hinata adjusted the heat.

“Yeah, me too.” He said softly, with a smile that didn’t make him seem too convinced.

It was a common thought wasn’t it; to think that if you peaked your happiness in High School, it’s all downhill from there. Kiyoomi didn’t doubt Hinata had faced many hardships since then. The real world usually punches you in the face after graduation. Especially if you don’t go to university, where the routine is changed and altered but you’re still in the hands of a _system._ You’re not completely on your own. There’s still people with responsibility over you.

Hinata went to Brazil. Half the world away.

How lonely he must’ve been.

Hinata started chucking random ingredients into the broth while Kiyoomi watched, caught in his own thoughts.

“Omi-san, can I ask you something?”

He snapped out of his thoughts of lonely Hinata all alone in a foreign country. “S-sure.” He stuttered. He’d barely caught the question.

“When you graduated High School you probably got a lot of offers for pro teams, right?”

“Some. None from Division 1 though.”

“Why did you go to college instead of joining a team?”

“I like to finish things properly. I felt like I needed to complete my education. High School is all preparing for it, right? My school especially was designed for admission exams. So it felt like the next step for me. I couldn’t leave it behind before I was done.”

Hinata seemed like he needed to chew on that for a bit. Kiyoomi ate from the hot pot while he waited for the other to arrange his mind.

“I sometimes wonder if I should’ve done the same.”

“Was college an option for you?”

“With my grades, not really. I don’t think I ever even considered it. All I wanted to do was play volleyball.”

“Then you chose the right path, I think. There’s no doubt your trip to Brazil made a big difference in you.”

Hinata grinned at that. “Yeah, I was pretty bad before.”

“Only your first year. You shaped up pretty good during that tournament.”

“I’m a fast learner.”

“I’m not surprised.”

They smiled at each other for a moment, both enjoying their tone. They picked at the food, eating their way through the plates slowly between their conversations.

“I’d like to come back here another time too I think.” Kiyoomi said when they exited the building, full and happy.

“It was nice! I need to tell my friends, so she’ll get more customers. We were the only ones there the entire time!” Hinata exclaimed, looking back through the window at the woman cleaning up their table. “I’d feel sorry if she had to close.”

“Don’t tell too many.” Kiyoomi said, only half joking. Hinata tossed him a knowing smile.

“I promise I’ll only come here with you.” Hinata declared, then turned around to walk towards the stairs back to campus.

Kiyoomi blushed so hard he felt his ears pop.


	9. Carpe diem

It was getting harder to focus on studying while sitting together at the library. Their easy, comfortable dynamic so far had been somewhat disrupted and they both struggled to stay still. Kiyoomi was stealing looks every few minutes, not really able to get his mind to properly focus on his books. Sometimes their eyes would meet, and his pulse would race, and he had to fight to stay still in his chair. Usually it ended up with him bouncing his leg under the table, which turned out to be distracting to Hinata as well.

In the end; Hinata shut his book with a disruptive bang. “Know what - I just can’t seem to focus today. Wanna go get some lunch in the coffee shop?”

Kiyoomi practically leaped up from his seat, his body buzzing with restless energy. “Definitely.”

He wasn’t sure if Hinata was having the same problem or simply sensed _his_ problem and suggested it out of mercy for them both, but either way he was grateful. He trailed silently behind the other as they trailed through the library shelves and down the grand staircase to the ground floor where the coffee shop was located.

They’d never been there together, he realised. Hinata wasn’t a coffee drinker - he obviously didn’t need it - but he did have a sweet tooth and it wasn’t rare to see him arrive at their study table with a bag of something baked from that very shop. While Kiyoomi enjoyed coffee, he wasn’t a big fan of caffeine and its effects on his sleep cycle. But he had a weakness for that bitterness, and if mixed with a little bit of dark chocolate? He’d practically moan. The coffee shop had a house special cocoa; made with proper dark chocolate melted into milk and it was Kiyoomi’s favourite thing about this school. It wasn’t a healthy option, so he’d allow himself one per week, usually Fridays. It wasn’t a Friday they entered the coffee shop together for the first time, but he was willing to break this little rule for the sake of spending more time with Hinata Shoyo.

Hinata ordered a chocolate croissant and a cup of green tea, then asked Kiyoomi what he was having. He startled, dumbly not reading the situation.

“Uh, what?” He stuttered.

“What’s your order?” Hinata repeated kindly, smiling with a tint of amusement. Kiyoomi stared at him dumbly for a full two seconds before his brain caught up.

“Oh! Uhh, house special hot choco please,” he managed to say, then turned to the cashier; “thank you.”

Hinata’s smile right then might have been subtle, but its impact on Kiyoomi was not to be underestimated. His stomach almost made him hunch down onto the floor right there, but he was able to avoid it by mumbling a clumsy “I’ll get us a table-” while blushing to a bright pink and running away while the other paid for them both.

Despite his flustered state; he was able to grab them a pretty decent table by a window. Two comfortable-looking armchairs with a side-table between them caught his eye and he was able to come back to his regular self again. He glanced back to make sure Hinata saw where he went, and their eyes met for a brief moment. He pointed to the chairs in question and Hinata signalled back with a thumb up.

The chairs were turned toward the floor-to-ceiling window and the view of the park in front of the library. Rain was falling heavy and grey clouds covered the sky, making the world seem dark and gloomy even though it was barely past noon. Raindrops whipped against the window with a steady thrumming and Kiyoomi felt himself relax the moment he sat down and let his shoulders fall.

“This weather makes this coffee shop seem even warmer and safer now, doesn’t it?” Hinata said softly when he arrived with their drinks and his croissant. He set the hot chocolate beside Kiyoomi carefully, the big cup filled to the brim and topped generously with whipped cream. “ _Crap, I forgot to ask for no cream.”_ He thought right away but chased the thought away quickly. He’d let himself go this time. Just once.

“I really does.” He answered, turning to smile at him and their eyes met again. Hinata didn’t let the contact linger, breaking it to sit down in his chair with a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, this was a good idea, I feel it now.” Hinata said lightly, cradling his cup of tea with both hands.

“I’m about to melt into this chair.” Kiyoomi mumbled.

“Yeah, wow, these are really good. I come here all the time, but I never sit down. I always take my order to go upstairs and study.”

“Maybe we should sit here more often, while we can.” Kiyoomi said fleetingly, his mind wandering to the thought of graduation and his future as a full-time volleyball player.

“You’re right, we should make the most of it while we can.” Hinata nodded, blowing at his tea before nibbling at it to check the temperature. He flinched, his lip burned, and set the cup down with a frown. Kiyoomi watched him with quiet interest, taking him in.

_“Make the most of it while we can, huh?”_ He thought to himself while watching the other lick his burned lip. There was no guarantee they would both make it on to MSBY. Most likely they would end up on different teams, given how many there were to choose from. Yet; he couldn’t help but hope they would have more time together. He had no hopes for romance. He wasn’t a romantic man and he’d come to terms with the complications his preference in men would bring. But a close and mutual friendship like this with Hinata was the best he could ever hope for, and he wanted - no, needed - it to last.

“What’s bugging you today, Omi-san?” Hinata broke their silence after several long minutes of just watching the rain fall against the windows. Kiyoomi startled a little, having been deep in thought, then looked over at the other in surprised wonder.

“You seem restless today.” Hinata elaborated.

Kiyoomi hesitated, knowing he couldn’t tell the truth and in need of a plausible lie but unable to come up with one.

“So do you.” He answered, avoiding the question to buy more time. If he hadn’t been watching Hinata’s face carefully he wouldn’t have caught the very brief look of panic in his big hazel eyes. A flash, then it was gone and Hinata was back in the game.

“The results from the MSBY tryouts should be here any day now. It’s making it hard to focus on the now, when the future is so close to settled. Only a text away. In or out. I can’t stop checking my phone, so I left it at the dorm to force myself to focus - but now all I can think of is what if I got a text? And then I remembered that so would you, so I kept checking you and if your phone was getting any messages.” He rambled, making Kiyoomi smile at how relatable it was.

He had his phone in his pocket, on vibrate, and every few minutes he would hold his hand against it to feel if he’d felt a vibration or if it was just his imagination.

But that had become a second nature - he did it without thinking. It was not his reason for being distracted. The orange haired man sitting in front of him, constantly meeting his eye with anticipation basically radiating from him, was the reason. But he couldn’t share that.

“Me too.” He said. “I keep checking my pocket to feel if my phone is vibrating or not.”

Hinata chuckled quietly. “That’s good to hear.”

Their eyes lingered for a moment, finding some mutual understanding, before they drifted back to watching the rain as they sipped their drinks in silence.

The gentle sound of rain and wind, the soft jazz on the speakers, the sound of conversations in the background muddled together, the warmth of their drinks, the softness of their chairs. Combined it created a feeling of being frozen in time. Kiyoomi felt like they could sit like this for hours, just being in each other’s company. There were very few people in this world he could feel this way with, and Hinata was an enigma because while he made him comfortable; he also stirred up a lot of supressed feelings inside him. How could a person both rile him up and bring him back down at the same time? Both make him feel comfortable and uncomfortable? Like he had all he ever needed, but could never get enough?

The contradictions were endless, and he felt his stomach and heart swell with restlessness again as time passed and his cup emptied. The burden of his secret was heavy to bear even now, how would it evolve if they were given more time together? Would he even be able to bear it?

He sighed heavily, earning a glance from Hinata. He felt the other’s eyes on him.

It wasn’t like he had a choice. He had no control over where Hinata would go, and he wasn’t about to let something like this affect his choice in teams.

Plus; he wanted to play together. More than anything; he wanted to be on the court together with Hinata and feel their teamwork thrive like it did when they trained together. It would be worth whatever burden he’d need to bear. It had to be.


	10. Grudge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on fire lately! Three days in a row!  
> I know the chapters are short, but in the spirit of post-as-you-write I am not giving myself any chances to go back and edit or chicken out.

Back when he was still in high school, Kiyoomi was determined to dislike Karasuno and all its players. They had taken away his last chance to play against Wakatoshi in the spring tournament. Karasuno had crashed their deal – no, their promise – to meet up and fight to the end. But despite that; there was no doubt in his mind as to why Kageyama had made it to the all-Japan youth training camps, and that if he was asked to choose a setter between him and Atsumu – he would choose Kageyama in a heartbeat. And that wasn’t even because Atsumu was annoying. Kageyama was the best setter in high school at the time. He could prefer Kageyama and still dislike him though, and so he spent his last two years of high school avoiding Karasuno and therefore Hinata too.

_What if…?_

The thought was floating above his head as he stared at the high ceiling of their volleyball gym. What if he had met Hinata properly back then? What if he had gotten to know him back then? Would he have felt the same as he did now, or would his grudge against him still be too fresh to look past?

The orange head in question came into view above him, blocking the lights from above, waking him from his thoughts.

“Omi-san, are you done stretching?”

He allowed himself to study his face for a moment before answering. His large, intense eyes, his soft mouth and strong jaw. He was beautiful.

“Yeah.”

Hinata reached out his hand to help him up, but Kiyoomi didn’t take it. Not yet.

“I used to hate you, back in high school.” He said, keeping his tone light so it wouldn’t sound too harsh. Hinata frowned nonetheless, letting his hand fall to his side. He didn’t say anything, just watched him and waited for him to elaborate.

“For beating Shiratorizawa, that is. It wasn’t personal. I hated your entire team for taking that away from them.”

Understanding dawned on Hinata, obvious as if written on his face.

“You wanted to win against them?” Hinata asked, stepping aside from above him to sit down next to him, legs crossed, body angled towards Kiyoomi. He tipped his head to the side so he could look at his face.

“Wakatoshi-kun. We had an agreement.”

“And we took that away from you.”

“The very last chance for us to play against each other before he graduated.”

“I had an agreement too. With Kenma, the setter from Nekoma, and so did our coach with theirs.” Hinata said with a smile so fond, Kiyoomi couldn’t even blame him for being pleased with fulfilling his task.

“That was one hell of a win.” Kiyoomi agreed, smiling. Hinata studied his smile without trying to hide it. Although it made him feel self-conscious, he didn’t stop.

“It seems so strange now, to think I ever disliked you.” He said softly.

Hinata gave him a curious look.

“I think if I met you properly back then, I’d feel differently about you. Like I do now.”

“It’s not like you missed your chance. You met me again and now we’re friends, right?” Hinata said happily, grinning in that way he did that made his eyes disappear.

“Maybe I feel guilty for disliking you unfairly, I don’t know. The thought just occurred to me.”

“I bear no grudge.” Hinata assured him, still grinning.

“I can’t imagine you bearing a grudge against anyone, Shoyo-kun.”

The name just tumbled out of him, so full of affection, so softly it was like he’d laid it out on a pillow. It was the first time he’d addressed him so casually, and it made him tense when he saw the surprise in Shoyo’s face and realised what he’d said.

Time stood still for a full minute while they both stared at each other, frozen. Then air huffed out of Shoyo’s lungs and he resumed back into himself as if nothing had happened. That glitch he had back when they were driving home from tryouts had been just like it. When Motoya asked him about Kageyama.

“I’m no angel, I bear grudges like no other. There’s just not that many people out there who find themselves spiting me, is all.” He said with a wink.

Kiyoomi smiled back, but wasn’t sure if he should play along or if he wanted to address what just happened. He kind of wanted the assurance from Shoyo that it was okay for him to call him that. Their easy atmosphere had been disrupted and the world around them fell back into focus. The gym had emptied and they were alone, the other players probably even done showering and left the building completely. The hum of electricity and air-conditioning suddenly became very loud and he was no longer feeling relaxed splayed out on the floor. He sat up and got to his feet and Shoyo did the same.

“I’ll get a second chance to win against Wakatoshi once I enter Division 1.” He said, stretching his arms in the air to try shake off some of the stiffness from lying still on a hard floor after a full workout. Shoyo had joined their practice that day, much to their coach’s delight. Their coach loved lively players with lots of energy, and Shoyo was as lively as they come.

“I’m afraid I’ve been too caught up in finding openings to check up on where he’s playing. So, he’s still in Japan?” Shoyo asked.

“Yeah, he’s on Kageyama’s team actually. I went to see one of their games earlier this year. It’s weird seeing them on the same team together.”

“Oh!”

This time there was no mistaking it. Even with his back turned to him, Kiyoomi could sense the sudden withdrawal Shoyo did at the mention of Kageyama. His own blunt nature took charge before he could stop himself and consider Shoyo’s feelings.

“Are you guys still friends?” He asked while turning around so he could look at his face.

By the time their eyes met, Shoyo had managed to collect himself.

“Yeah! We are, we just didn’t really stay in touch while I was abroad, so I’m a little out of the loop. I knew he played on Adlers, but I wasn’t aware Ushiwaka was there too. That’s so weird! What a duo though, I bet they’re crushing it together.”

Shoyo’s mask was so convincing Kiyoomi almost couldn’t accuse him of rambling. His concerns were confirmed; Kageyama was a sore subject.

“They are. Kageyama was already a monster, but now they’ve given the monster a bazooka.”

That made Shoyo burst out laughing. Kiyoomi chuckled too, and the tension blew away like a breeze had passed between them.

“I bet we can beat them anyway, if we both get into MSBY.” Shoyo said with a familiar competitive fire in his eyes. It lit something within Kiyoomi. Something along the lines of motivation with a side of lust.

“No doubt. We’ll crush them to pieces.” He grinned, and Shoyo grinned back.

They showered and changed, Shoyo in the teacher’s locker and Kiyoomi in the student locker, and met again on the other side. Shoyo had convinced him to eat lunch in the library coffee shop again, even though they’d been there just the day before. The weather was the same and the thought of those chairs and that atmosphere was very compelling when his muscles were tired and his body freshly showered. He was quite sure he’d fall asleep, but that didn’t matter. There would be good company.

The coffee shop had smoothies, so they both ordered green smoothies as post-workout lunch to go along with their lunchboxes full of protein. Miraculously; the chairs from the day before were available.

Their conversation was light and casual, back to discussing the many plays they were able to try out that day with a full team on their side rather than being a beach volley duo. In many ways, it was as if they had both come to assume that somehow, they would end up on the same team in the end, no matter the result from tryouts with MSBY. Kiyoomi was confident they would both make it, but there was no guarantee. Shoyo was less confident in his own efforts, which was ridiculous in Kiyoomi’s opinion. The team had been blown away by him _and_ he had two strong advocates in Bokuto and Atsumu.

Yet; they were already making strategies together to make the most of their discoveries from playing duo. They had learned a lot about their teamwork over the past weeks, and both had discovered new possibilities in themselves from picking up new tricks from the other. Shoyo had improved Kiyoomi’s footing and jumping reach noticeably but training him in the sand. Shoyo had improved his spike accuracy so much it almost rivalled Kiyoomi’s. And they were both an absolute pain to everyone when playing floor defence together. The libero and Kiyoomi’s team had become considerably pale during training, perhaps seeing the room for improvement on his own part, when the coach stopped subbing out both Kiyoomi and Shoyo when they were in the back.

“I still need to work on my serving. I think I’m going to focus on that for a while, to see if I can improve in time for my next tryout.” Shoyo considered, sipping his smoothie.

“You could ask our coach to give you some one-on-one training? He used to be the number one server in Japan during his high school days.”

“Really? Awesome! I’ll do that, for sure.”

“Tell him you’ll buy him dinner and he won’t say no.” He promised.

They talked volleyball until their smoothies were long gone and their lunchboxes empty and tucked away. Kiyoomi had no classes, Shoyo no more coaching, and time had no meaning as the rain fell endlessly outside the window and the world outside turned darker and darker. Noon became afternoon, but they didn’t even notice how long they’d sat there for. That was until a coffee shop worker walked over with two cups of green tea and told them it was on the house. Only then did they seem to notice just how long they had been talking.

They shared a smile when the worker left, reached for their cups and cradled them in their hands, letting the warmth spread through the skin and into their bodies.

“Shoyo-kun.” Kiyoomi tried the name again and felt the thrill of it run through him like a shiver. There was so much affection behind something as simple as changing the way he addressed him. The difference was so stark to calling him by his last name.

He peeked over at Shoyo when he said it, pretending he was watching his tea. Was Shoyo blushing, or was it the warmth of the tea that made his face flush a light pink?

Kiyoomi’s stomach fluttered. He’d forgotten what he was going to say, and here Shoyo was politely waiting for him to say what he was going to say.

Suddenly a little flustered by the change in the atmosphere between them, he stuttered.

“C-can you tell me about Brazil?”

Shoyo seemed a little surprised by the question, it was a little out of nowhere after all, but his expression brightened in a way that told him Brazil wasn’t a bad subject. This spurred him on.

“I’ve never been abroad before. It must’ve been really scary to go that far on your own. I don’t think I could do it, to be honest. But you did. But how was it like? I’ve been wondering for a while.” He admitted.

“It was really awesome. I’m positive that going there was one of the best decisions I’ve ever done, though many people will disagree. Leaving everything here behind to go there and start again from scratch was really hard. In the beginning absolutely everything was hard. I was insecure, lonely, scared, homesick and I really sucked at beach volleyball.” He chuckled. Kiyoomi couldn’t help but smile, because having seen Shoyo now, it was hard to imagine him ever having trouble playing beach volley.

“But over time I adjusted. Things got easier as I got into a routine, learned some of the language, made some friends and became friends with the sand.”

His eyes went far away again, like he’d travelled back to Brazil in his mind.

“I learned a lot about myself that I didn’t know or even pushed away and ignored in favour of immersing myself in volleyball and volleyball only back in high school. While my purpose of going there was volleyball, in the end what I learned about the most was myself and who I am outside of volleyball.”

In a way, Kiyoomi felt envious. He felt he was fairly self-aware, but to experience a sort of awakening like what Shoyo seemed to describe sounded so… freeing.

“That sounds really great.” He said softly.

“It was. It was exactly what I needed. And when I felt ready, I came back. And here we are!” He said with a bright smile. “I’m not a believer of destiny, but I’m grateful for whatever brought us together like this.” He added, eyes warm and fond.

Kiyoomi was about to melt into his chair from the amount of throbbing affection that was turning him liquid from the inside out at that moment. He was barely able to say ‘me too’ without sounding severely constipated, but he sounded strained enough to make Shoyo chuckle.

“Is ice-king Omi-san having a crisis?” Shoyo teased, leaning in, and Kiyoomi cursed every blood cell in his body for rushing to his face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said unconvincingly through gritted teeth, turning away to hide his flushed state.

“I’ve become quite good at reading people over the years, actually.” Shoyo stated, his tone bright and innocent. Kiyoomi’s heart was racing so fast his ears were ringing.

“You’re pretty good at masking yourself, so you’re hard to figure out, but I think I’m starting to get a hang of it.” He continued.

Kiyoomi didn’t know what to do with that information. Shoyo’s tone kept him from feeling mocked, but his defences were rising up anyway. Years of hiding, concealing, keeping a mask on – both figuratively and literally – had created a mechanism that even Shoyo wasn’t an exempt from.

“I’d appreciate if you didn’t try to _figure me out_ on observation alone and make assumptions about me without me having a say, if you don’t mind.” He bit out, his tone so icy cold he almost shivered. It was like word vomit, out of his mouth before he could even stop to think about who he was saying this to. Shoyo had come too close to a nerve and it just happened on its own, completely out of his control. He hated it.

He was turned away from the other, but he saw his reaction in the window reflection; Shoyo flinched, looking both hurt and regretting at the same time. Kiyoomi’s stomach twisted with guilt, but the anger he felt from losing control of himself was too dominant.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Shoyo began, but Kiyoomi talked at the same time.

“I think I should go-“

They both stopped talking, having interrupted the other, then looked down at the floor.

Kiyoomi wanted to apologize, but he needed to gather himself first. Regain control, so to speak. He was so rattled by his abrupt attack, all he could think of was how much he needed to get away and regroup.

They both started to say something at the same time again, then stopped when realizing the other was about to speak.

Kiyoomi gave up on trying to say anything. He grabbed his gym bag and ran away in shame, Shoyo watching his back with eyes full of regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, with that ending I just want to make something very clear:  
> This is not a coming-out story. Hinata and Sakusa are not closeted or buried in gay shame. It's not that kind of story.


	11. Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christ, this was the hardest one to write so far. Hope I didn't mess it up T_T

“I’ve made a mess.”

“Well, hello to you too.” Motoya deadpanned through the phone. Kiyoomi sighed, impatient and too full of nervous tingles to indulge in jokes.

“I need help.”

Motoya wasn’t about to let him go just like that, not having caught on to the growing panic his cousin was feeling.

“Whatever it is, it can’t be so grave you can’t even say hello before demanding my help without considering whether I even have the time.”

Kiyoomi huffed, a little stung, but also stubborn.

“Your practice ended over an hour ago, you’ve had time to shower and dress and I’m guessing that now you’re wrapped in your robe, on your bed, checking your social medias while waiting for your girlfriend to arrive so you can binge whatever show has you obsessed for the moment.”

There was a pause.

Motoya wasn’t as scheduled as Kiyoomi, but he was prone to fall into habitual patterns, Kiyoomi was observant, and Motoya talks a lot even when he has nothing new to tell.

“Fine. What happened.” Motoya said in a tone that didn’t sound like a question but more like a command. _Get on with it._

_“Well, shit, now I’ve pissed him off too.”_ Kiyoomi thought to himself with growing dread. He was having a really bad day.

“I think Hinata has caught on.” He began. Then pinched the bridge of his nose because a headache was underway and he didn’t know how to properly explain without saying it outright. Saying it outright felt mortifying, so it was out of the question – headache be damned.

“We were talking and it seemed like he was hinting at something along those lines, and so I freaked out and said something stupid.”

“Like you do.” Motoya said with a soft sigh. Kiyoomi couldn’t be sure over the phone, but it sounded sympathetic. Kiyoomi huffed again.

“He caught on to you being gay, or to you being head over heels for him?”

Dread filled his gut like an ugly poison, he hated being figured out. He preferred telling people about himself and his inner feelings and thoughts. Others figuring out on their own when he wasn’t trying to show or tell was something he’d always hated. It didn’t matter if they were family. The loss of control was torturous.

“The last thing.” He said, pained. “And I’m not head over heels.”

“Whatever you say.”

“I’m not!” He bit back, blushing.

“Then what are you then?”

Kiyoomi hesitated. He was rather head over heels, wasn’t he? It was just overwhelmingly terrifying to think about.

“I like him. And I’m liking him more and more. He’s very…” He trailed off, trying different words in his head.

“charming?” Motoya suggested. A chuckle escaped Kiyoomi’s lungs before he could catch it.

An image of Shoyo came to his mind and he couldn’t help but smile. “Yes.” He sighed softly.

Motoya chuckled, but didn’t tease him. He knew better, thankfully, than to steal away that good feeling he was having. It would disappear just as quickly on its own.

“If he was hinting at knowing you have a thing for him, doesn’t that mean he’s fine with it?”

“Yes, that’s the thing, I think he’s more than fine with it. You should’ve seen the looks he gave me; he was flirting!” He answered in a tone that suggested this wasn’t happy news, which made Motoya sigh heavily.

“Why is that not a good thing?”

Kiyoomi gaped a bit, words caught in his throat. It _was_ a good thing, but it was also an awful thing. A growl of frustration ripped through him. He should be happy, over the moon, that his feelings were met with encouragement, but he was too messed up to enjoy it. He was missing out on his own joy. Instead of celebrating he was hiding in panic, stupid as he was. And for what?

To cradle his fear of affection like it was a gift he was given, not a curse?

“I don’t know. It freaked me out.”

Motoya was quiet for several minutes them, giving him time to calm down and think. His pulse slowed, his heart settled in his chest despite the ache of fear.

“Were you planning on making the first move yourself?” His cousin asked softly.

“No, I didn’t anticipate this. I didn’t expect him to return my feelings like this, he’s so _friendly_ and likable to everyone – to think I was special felt too ambitious. I kept telling myself he’s treating me like he’d treat any of his friends, because he’s that kind of friend. He’ll go above and beyond for his friends.”

“So you felt safe then, in his friend zone.”

Kiyoomi smiled. Motoya knew him so well. Comfort warmed him, his tense shoulders relaxing a little. The grip on his phone relaxing.

“Friendship is predictable.” He answered.

“I don’t know about that, but I guess it’s easier to deal with than a relationship. Especially for a weirdo like you.” Motoya teased.

Kiyoomi chuckled in surprise at the sudden bickering jab, the comment oddly comforting in its familiarity rather than offensive.

“Very funny.” He retorted flatly.

“So, how’s the damage? What did your stupid walls spit out this time?” Motoya asked, pleased with himself for lightening the mood.

Kiyoomi flinched at the memory. “I told him not to assume things.”

Motoya made an _ah-_ sound, all too familiar with this attack of his.

“If I were him I’d assume you freaked out about being assumed gay, I think.”

“Oh.” Kiyoomi said dumbly. He didn’t think about that. He was so used to being out in the open about it that he’d never thought of telling Shoyo about it. He’d been on his team for years and they’d known all along, and it wasn’t a topic of conversation that came up naturally because none of them were dating or even talking about dating.

“I’m afraid people are going to assume you’re straight if you don’t show or tell them otherwise, even these days.” Motoya said with as much delicacy he could offer from his position in the other lane. “And you’re not obvious about… anything at all really.”

Kiyoomi had made sure of that. Not to hide his sexuality specifically, but to hide himself entirely and only offer himself to those he deemed worthy. By now those walls were so high and so strong he had trouble taking them down himself. And then when people like Shoyo, who were observant and watched him closely, were able to get a peek? Those walls would spit fire to eliminate the threat.

“I going to take a guess that he’s wallowing in guilt right now, thinking he’s offended you.”

Guilt stabbed at him and he groaned. “That might be even worse.” He whined.

“You need to talk to him. But you know that. You’re just stalling by talking to me, because you need to see this through _today_ or you won’t get your precious sleep.” Motoya said, sounding a bit too smug to Kiyoomi’s liking.

He sighed, knowing he was 100% right and it was getting late and he was losing time. Shoyo went to bed early. He’d miss his chance soon.

“I’m going now.”

“Good boy. Communication is always key! Make sure he knows how stupid you really are, so he’ll know what he’s getting himself into.”

“Now you’re just being mean.”

“Stop stalling.”

He didn’t hang up right away. They held the line for a moment longer, while Kiyoomi gathered his courage to make his feet move.

“Thank you.” He said softly, and hung up.

\--

It was almost curfew and Shoyo’s dormitory hall was dimly lit and ominous. The campus dormitories were old and grand, made for a different time. Their rooms were small, but the ceilings were high and the windows large. The doors to each room were of thick hardwood and painted dark brown, donned with signs with the names of each resident.

He’d been staring at Hinata Shoyo’s name for several minutes, his heart beating hard against his ribcage, making his ears roar. He hoped Shoyo was inside, because if he wasn’t he knew he’d chicken out. Then it would be ten times harder to pick up his courage and this conversation once again.

No, he needed to get this done now. Clear things up, go to bed and get his sleep.

His arm finally moved and his knuckles hit the door three times. He waited, holding his breath, for a sign of life. The hall was eerily quiet, his ears strained to catch any noise. Did he hear footsteps?

The loud click of a lock unlocking and a very old door handle being pushed downwards made him jump back. His heart almost jumped out of his throat. The door opened and bright orange hair appeared in the opening, then one of those tan arms that were already losing their colour, and finally; the curious face of Hinata Shoyo.

“Hi.” Kiyoomi greeted stiffly.

When he realised who had come to his room, Shoyo’s eyes immediately filled with that guilt Motoya had predicted. With just as much guilt of his own, Kiyoomi immediately threw himself into word vomit.

“I’m so sorry for running away like that, it’s not your fault, I wasn’t offended, I _am,_ in fact, gay, but that wasn’t what made me react like that and I’m sorry for making you feel like crap when it was all my fault and you were just being you and flirting with me. I was just surprised that you were, because I didn’t expect you to like me like that and I’d come to terms with us just being friends and then suddenly everything was turned on its head because you-“

He cut himself off when their eyes finally met at the end of his tirade and Shoyo’s utterly overwhelmed and confused look made him lose track of his own mind.

“-flirted.” The word slipped out, along with all the air in his lungs. How incredibly, soul crushingly adorable Shoyo was when he was bewildered. The urge to reach out and touch his face was extreme, but he gripped his sweatpants hard to stop his hands from moving.

Shoyo gaped, his eyes locked with Kiyoomi’s but not actually looking. He was gone, in his mind, probably processing the massive amount of information just dumped on him completely off guard.

Kiyoomi waited, rigid as a statue, until Shoyo seemed to have return to his own body and mind again and his mouth closed with a clack of his teeth. He inhaled through his nose, still looking overwhelmed.

“I’m not sure what to say.” Shoyo admitted, eyes batting down, finally releasing the other from his spell. Kiyoomi nodded, which wasn’t very helpful, but all he was capable off at the moment, with his body on what felt like a rigid lockdown of all muscle motion.

“I wanted to say sorry, but that’s not what you want, is it?” Shoyo said with a small smile tugging at his lips.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong.” Kiyoomi said with finality. Shoyo’s smile grew. He looked into Kiyoomi’s eyes again, fond this time, and maybe with a bit of pity.

“I thought I’d jumped to conclusion way too soon and offended you, so I felt horrible, and then I felt so wretched because I thought I’d ruined our friendship by almost confessing to you and made you uncomfortable.” He mumbled, finding the words as he went. “And then I was angry at you for lashing out like that, I was afraid you might be homophobic.” He admitted with a hollow chuckle.

Kiyoomi made a face, which made Shoyo laugh. “Yeah, that would’ve been a deal breaker.” He added in between laughs. Kiyoomi nodded in agreement, finding himself smiling as well. He was regaining muscle function and his fingers released their iron grip on his pants, he held them up and flexed his stiff joints.

Shoyo sighed heavily, as if shedding a burden. After; he seemed lighter, back to his bouncy self, and their eyes met once again. Kiyoomi wasn’t quite sure what to do then, as he’d done what he’d come to do but hadn’t planned on what happened after. He’d been too caught up in what he wanted to say that he’d never imagined what the reaction or outcome might be.

“If I flirt with you again, will you panic again too?” Shoyo asked carefully, looking at him with eyes that could make him melt into a puddle. Hopeful, warm and most of all; bold.

While Kiyoomi knew which answer was the sensible one to say in order to convey that yes, indeed, he likes him too, he wasn’t a fan of lying.

“I might, but that’s okay.” He said hesitantly. “I’m not very good at flirting.” He admitted with an embarrassed huff, eyes to the floor and shoulders hunched to make himself smaller. Shoyo chuckled.

“I can live with that.”


	12. Teammates

Shoyo went about any challenge given with relentless effort befit a true champion. This did not only count in volleyball, but in every aspect of his life that he deemed an improvement or a chance to win. When sure of what he wanted, he'd charge with full speed, with no thought of regret or fear. It was with that kind of fearless determination he utterly terrified Kiyoomi on a daily basis with flirtations, casual touches and looks.

It was his own personal hell, on many levels. He was being showered with affection, constantly one-upped by the other due to his own inability to respond or even act on his own without shutting down. Shoyo would leave him speechless, gaping, dumbfounded, blushing and helpless, and he was _aware_ and _enjoying it._

Despite feeling like he was tortured, he was falling helplessly more and more in love. This was of course the very source of his unfortunate response – or inability _to_ respond – to Shoyo's advances. But Shoyo was not to be discouraged by the lack of action on his part. He seemed to had figured out what Kiyoomi's rigid freezing or gaping speechlessness or downright shut downs, meant in the end. The more he liked it; the more pathetic his response.

But it was wearing him down to be so utterly hopeless when it came to flirting and being flirted with. It chipped away at his confidence to feel like he was losing a battle against the very walls he spent so many years meticulously building for his own comfort. The comfort had gone and his walls remained; looming and uninviting towards all possible intruders.

There had been one single person to crash down his walls unscathed so far in his young life:

Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Wakatoshi had managed this through his absolute lack of effort to do so. In other words; Kiyoomi was always the one leading their dance, so he broke the wall down on his own. The older boy had not been as indifferent as that sounded, but he had simply given Kiyoomi exactly what he thought he wanted.

In the end; they drifted apart, finding there was a lack of spark in their mutual compliance.

With that history, it maybe shouldn’t have surprised him so much that he’d fall for someone who would rattle up his defences as much as Shoyo did. He’d tried the opposite thing and it hadn’t worked the way he thought it would. Back then he’d been so relieved because he thought he was done looking for what he felt was missing. The only thing missing from his life. Then only to find out that what he’d found was a good, kind, solid option, but not what he needed. To think that Shoyo just might be the answer was both terrifying and relieving.

The following week after their mutual confessions, Shoyo had him on his toes. Not whenever he joined their practice or when playing beach volley together, because they were too much of a pair of volleyball idiots to focus on anything else while playing, but at any other given time.

Giving him looks and brief smiles at the library, casual flirting when they walked together, touching his elbow and shoulders whenever he laughed, taking him to dinner and texting him good night every evening.

“Did you ever date in high school?” Shoyo asked him casually while they waited for the shabu shabu broth to boil. They were back in the mostly empty restaurant for a second time. Used to Shoyo asking pretty direct and out-of-the-blue questions by now, Kiyoomi didn’t startle.

“Briefly, a few times my third year. Did you?”

“Not at all, I was too obsessed with volleyball to care about anything else. I’m a late bloomer, I guess.” Shoyo chuckled shyly.

Shoyo’s shyness was a mystery. While he acted bold and fearless at most times, he could turn adorably shy at the most random things.

“In Brazil?” Kiyoomi suggested. Shoyo nodded.

“When I finally made some friends there they would take me out to bars and introduce me to even more people. I ended up with a few experimental relationships, but it never amounted to anything serious.” Shoyo said with a smile that suggested this didn’t bother him anymore, but might once have given him grief.

“Have you ever had anything serious with someone?” Shoyo asked.

Kiyoomi suddenly blushed, knowing Shoyo knew who Wakatoshi was made it feel more embarrassing to admit their relation.

“Once. It didn’t last very long, though.”

“Can I ask what happened?” Shoyo asked softly.

“Nothing dramatic, we were long distance and it just kind of… drifted off.”

When he thought about it; their relationship never ended with a breakup. It was like they’d reached an unspoken, mutual agreement that they were no longer an item, but instead just close friends who cared about each other deeply.

Shoyo hummed in understanding and busied himself with putting ingredients into the boiling broth. Kiyoomi appreciated the lack of tension Shoyo provided by being so casual about their topic. He didn’t seem like the jealous type, just curious about his past. He was suddenly unsure if he should tell him that it was Wakatoshi or not. Would it bother him that they were still friends? As much as he dreaded admitting who it was, because it felt so private, he feared causing a rift between Shoyo and himself more.

“He’s… it’s Ushijima. My ex that is. I just wanted to, I don’t know – uhh – let you know? I wanted you to hear it from me, since you know him and all…” He stumbled around the sentence so much it flustered him more than he thought it would. Blushing, he had to turn away from facing Shoyo to compose himself.

“Ohh!” Shoyo sounded surprised. It made Kiyoomi peak back at him from hiding.

“You sound surprised.”

Shoyo chuckled at his puzzled expression mixed with the flustered blush. “It was just unexpected.” He explained.

It wasn’t his first time witnessing this reaction. Wakatoshi was hard to get to know, but once he started actually talking to a person he was very thoughtful and caring. His quiet personality gave him a lot of room to think, and sometimes overthink things, but at the same time he was very straight forward and direct. Most of all he was considerate.

“He’s very different from what people think when they meet him on the court.” Kiyoomi said.

“So are you.” Shoyo flashed a charming smile, making Kiyoomi’s cheeks flush again.

“The less people find me approachable, the better.” Kiyoomi grumbled, but with a hint of teasing.

“So grumpy.” Shoyo teased back.

“I don’t have the energy to make friends with everyone.”

“More time for me then.” Shoyo stuck out his tongue, then grinned. Kiyoomi feigned disgust.

“With you being best friends with just about every living being you encounter, I’m surprised you even have the time to sit here and eat dinner with a grump like me.”

Shoyo tried to pout, but his smile broke through. “I can’t help it, people are interesting.”

It wasn’t the answer Kiyoomi expected, though he wasn’t sure what he had. Maybe a smugger answer along the lines of “ _people are simply attracted to me”_ and an indifferent shrug. But it made sense, when giving it thought; Shoyo had a way of making people open up about their interest and passions and dreams, and he’d always listen with great interest and enthusiasm.

He smiled at the younger man with great fondness.

“ _You’re_ interesting.” He said, and Shoyo finally blushed shyly for him again.

\--

He woke Friday morning to a text. _THE_ text. The MSBY Black Jackals text. The text that told him he was offered a position on the team, details in an email, yada-yada.

All he could think of was: _Did Shoyo get an offer?_

His fingers almost made the move to call him up on their own, but then he thought that calling would be weird. Too eager. He wasn’t supposed to be this involved. But he really wanted to know, so what then? He’d have to text. That was it. A text was the good amount of interested. What would he write? That he got in? Ask if he’d heard anything? That would imply that _he_ had heard something, so why wouldn’t he include the result right away?

His mind ran in circles for several beats until he stiffly typed out ‘I got an offer from MSBY’ and sent it and then threw his phone away onto the mattress.

The phone chimed.

He leaped to get it, but then couldn’t find it in the sheets. He huffed in frustration and battled the fabric until the phone went flying out from somewhere and crashed to the floor with a sickening crack. He froze. Stared at it. Another chime. The screen lit up. It wasn’t shattered. He grabbed it off the floor and saw that his hard-plastic phone case had cracked a little on the corner, but the phone itself was unscathed.

His heart was beating. He wasn’t quite sure what exactly he was getting excited over. Having Shoyo on his team? Seeing his happy reaction at becoming a Division 1 player? Himself getting onto the team? He knew he’d have more offers, he was confident in his abilities, but Shoyo had made him set on this one. Even if he had to deal with Miya on a daily basis.

He unlocked the phone and the preview of Shoyo’s second text read: ‘Let’s be teammates’.

A surge of excitement soared through him. The teamwork they’d built up over the last few weeks had become something he’d wanted to keep. As much as he was sure that Shoyo had impressed the team enough at tryouts, a small seed of doubt was all that was needed to make him worry that he’d lose it.

He sent Wakatoshi a text to share the news, as well as one to Motoya.

He noticed he’d never read Shoyo’s full texts when he clicked back to his inbox and saw the red number 2. They read:

‘I got in too!!!’

‘Let’s be teammates and celebrate tonight!’ and lots of emojis.

_Celebrate how?_ He wondered. He wasn’t much the celebrating type. Food? Barbecue? He wondered if Shoyo wanted the two have an actual party and drink alcohol. He hated alcohol with passion; it ruined everything in its path, and he wanted nothing to do with it.

‘How do we celebrate?’ He asked. He waited several minutes for the answer.

‘Let’s practise’

Of course that was Shoyo’s idea of a celebration. He laughed out loud.

\--

They played volleyball in the sand until their legs screamed for mercy, too caught up in it to notice until it was impossible to ignore anymore. Panting like animals, they both fell on their back side-by-side after their 14th win against Shoyo’s unlucky squad of students. They’d looked like they were on the brink of tears when their trainer dismissed them, telling them to take the next day off.

Kiyoomi’s chest heaved on top of the soft sand. He rested his arm on top of his eyes to protect them from the stark ceiling lights. He listened to the breathing beside him. Listened closely until they were breathing in sync. A strange feeling pooled in his stomach as they breathed heavily together. It spread out through his veins like a wave of gooseflesh, stirring his muscles and making him heat up rapidly.

He sat up in a rush, his head flashing with pain from the rapid motion.

“What’s up?” Shoyo asked. He was still lying down, but he’d removed lifted his arm form his eyes to only block the light so he could see Kiyoomi without being blinded.

“Nothing. There’s was a bump under my back, is all.” He lied. He wrapped his arms around his knees and closed his eyes to focus on his breathing. He could hear the rustle of Shoyo smoothing out the sand behind him with his hand.

“Should be good now.” He heard him say, but he didn’t lie down. He needed to calm down some more, or he’d _see._ If he couldn’t control himself, he’d be mortified.

He felt Shoyo’s hand on his back and his entire body shivered with pleasure at the touch, his breath caught in his throat, strangling his vocal cords. His shirt was soaked in sweat and it had felt like he had touched his naked skin and not his shirt.

“We should probably shower before we catch a cold.” Shoyo said softly and his hand fell away as he stood up beside him. “You coming?”

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled. “Yeah. You go ahead, I’ll be right there.”

Shoyo had shared their wardrobe. He was going to share their shower. He’d have to wait for him to finish before going into the wardrobe, or he was sure he wouldn’t be able to hide his all-too-obvious problem. He wasn’t ready to bring them to that point yet, but knowing that now they’d have more time together took away some of the sense of urgency that had made him feel even less capable of moving them forward before. He knew from experience he needed to take things slow to keep his usual repulsion to bodily fluids and bacteria in check. Shoyo seldom made him feel that way; with his assuring, good habits and patterns and general cleanliness, but a sudden move into the realm of sexual tension could backfire and cause irreparable damage. Knowing they were now bound to be teammates; that wasn’t a risk he was willing to take.

“Omi-kun. You alright?” Shoyo’s voice came from behind him, soft with worry, but he startled as if he’d shouted, jumping to his feet. His _problem_ had thankfully gone away, he realised with great relief.

“Yes! Fine! I was just resting!” He tried, but failed, to lie. Shoyo had the sympathy to pretend to believe him.

“All that tension from waiting for them to respond has you all worn out, hasn’t it?” The younger suggested helpfully. Kiyoomi nodded, unable to look him in the eyes. He’d be forced to shower with him now. He rather dreaded it. Shoyo turned back towards the wardrobes, but stopped again when he didn’t immediately follow.

“You coming?” He asked over his shoulder.

Defeated; Kiyoomi let his tense shoulders fall and tagged along.

He tried his best to keep his eyes to himself, he really did, but it was _very_ hard to ignore the elephant in the room. Hinata Shoyo might look chunky and carved with his clothes on, but with all of them gone he was absolutely _ripped._ A stunning sight of lean, hard-earned muscle hugged his body like he’d been carved out of marble. He was used to seeing his thick and flexible legs, but the defined lines of his thighs – the very thighs that helped create those unbelievable jumps of his – was a thing of beauty.

Kiyoomi was by no means a small man with his long legs and limbs and broad hips and shoulders, but he’d always been the lean and toned type rather than bulging muscles. Shoyo wasn’t so buffed up it made him look like an entirely different kind of athlete, but he was definitely pumped. The evidence of hard work with weights and hours of training was clear. This was a weakness of his; as he’d seen in Wakatoshi as well.

In other words; keeping his eyes to himself and counting the shower room tiles wasn’t very successful. Speed was his only friend, so he tried his best to shower meticulously but hurriedly to escape the situation as soon as possible.

A chuckle from behind him hinted that Shoyo had caught on with his plan.

“Do you want to go get some dinner?” Shoyo asked.

“Sure.” He tried his best not to sound as tense as he felt.

“Barbecue?”

“Sounds good.”

Shoyo’s shower stopped and Kiyoomi heard footsteps coming closer to him on the wet, tiled floor. He ducked his head under the stream to drown out the sound and turned the water to cold to calm his heating body. He could barely see, but felt Shoyo stand beside him, leaning his back against the wall. A towel was wrapped around his waist, but that did little to make him look less appealing to the eye. The shower room had no dividers, just showerhead attached to a naked wall. Shoyo wasn’t standing close enough to be sprayed by water, but close enough for Kiyoomi to feel his presence. He said something, but the water drowned it out.

Suddenly feeling rude, Kiyoomi stopped the water, now shivering from the cold. He stood stiffly for a moment, the coldness suddenly overwhelming him. But soon a warm, dry towel was tossed across his shoulders and another handed to him to wrap around his lower body. Kiyoomi accepted it with a small smile.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

Shoyo smiled back. “I asked if you wanted to invite any friends to dinner. To celebrate.”

He shook his head while wrapping the second towel around himself. “I don’t really feel like making a crowd right now. I’ll celebrate with the team when I share the news at practice tomorrow.”

Shoyo crossed his arms and looked rather pleased. “Just us then?”

Kiyoomi finally looked at him. He was so… carefree felt like the wrong word, because it sounded like he wasn’t serious and that wasn’t the impression he was getting from him at all, but he didn’t know how to properly describe the general _ease_ at which Shoyo seemed to have at approaching him. He was jealous of it, longing to be free from his own maze of boundaries and walls. That jealousy made him crave boldness. It built an urge to do something rash and terrifying. Just to defy himself. To spite his own defences.

So, he stepped closer, reached out and touched Shoyo’s neck – making his eyes go so wide he could see his own reflection in them – and he relished in the rush the blatant surprise in those hazel colours created in him. Caught with want, with need, they leaned into each other with a deep kiss.


	13. Steps

Kiyoomi pulled away when his lungs started feeling like they would explode. In an embarrassing way; his body had frozen once their lips met. He was kissing back, but he was also staying perfectly still. Shoyo made no move to deepen the exchange either but having him return the kiss had been…explosive. His mind quieted, but his body’s nerves had gone full blast and then short circuit. And then, when his lungs couldn’t take it any longer, he turned away and gasped for air, face flushed a deep red.

“Omi-san.” Shoyo was short of breath too.

In a moment of mild panic, Kiyoomi heard himself saying sorry to him, but he didn’t really know what for. He’d expected him to kiss back, but then when he did it had shocked him.

“Hey, don’t be sorry, I’m-“ Shoyo was stuttering for once, which gave him enough confidence to look up again and at him. He was flushed too, his face redder than his orange hair, his eyes wide and unsure. “I’m happy you did it.” He finished.

All Kiyoomi can manage at that moment is to breathe. Their eyes lock, but Kiyoomi can’t say a word, his lungs heave for more air than they really need and his eyes flicker back to those lips of his. They’re red, a little swollen, wet, he’s smiling.

“You surprised me.” Shoyo tells him, stepping closer. Kiyoomi’s nerves react immediately, as if reaching out for him. He feels the pull in his skin. His arm reaches out and Shoyo’s hand runs up along it, making goose bumps appear in its path.

Kiyoomi finally found words to say. “I surprised me too.” Which made Shoyo laugh out loud. The unbearable tension in Kiyoomi’s muscles dissolved at the sound, his shoulders finally falling and the cage-like sensation he’d felt was gone as he chuckled too. Shoyo leaned in and their foreheads met while Shoyo’s other hand found its way around Kiyoomi’s waist to guide him closer. He let him, letting his guard down.

“I’m not much of a kisser.” Kiyoomi mumbled. He’d closed his eyes when their foreheads met, the eye contact too much to bear.

“Ohh?” Shoyo urged him to elaborate.

“Too much fluid, I usually can’t stop thinking of the bacteria.”

“I’ll make sure I brush my teeth.”

“It was fine, I don’t know why but I stopped thinking.”

“Good.”

“Shoyo-“

“Stop thinking.” Shoyo told him warmly, then kissed him again.

This time his body reacted instead of freezing. His hands found their way into Shoyo’s hair instantly, his right hand grabbing a hold of his messy, wet hair, the left grabbing his neck as if he was trying to get away. But Shoyo was doing the opposite; he pushed them against the cold tiles of the shower room and the sensation against Kiyoomi’s back felt like burning.

He gasped, breaking their kiss, but Shoyo just went on to kiss his neck. A jolt of pleasure rocked through him, making him gasp again. His hand tightened in Shoyo’s hair and the man in his arms groaned into his neck. The air from his lips, the vibration of his voice, Kiyoomi felt it all and his nerve endings were singing. He was panting, shivering, cold but burning hot.

Shoyo reached his chest and gave it a light kiss, but then stopped to look at Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi had leaned his head back against the wall and was breathing hard, his entire body was flushed red and he was shivering enough for Shoyo to notice he was cold.

“Let’s get out of here.” He said gently, tugging him along with his hand. Kiyoomi’s body followed where his mind was unable to grasp what was happening.

He came to when a t-shirt was draped over his head and got caught in his nose, making it hard for Shoyo to pull it down. A startle a first, from the change in surroundings, then quickly helping to get the shirt off his face.

“There you are.” Shoyo said with a gentle smile, though his eyes looked worried. Kiyoomi frowned, not liking the lines the worry created in his young face.

“Sorry, I spaced out.” He said, his mouth numb.

“You’re pretty cold, let me get you a sweater to wear underneath your jacket.” Shoyo left his field of vision. He was still shivering, so he hugged himself. He was still only wearing the towel around his waist, so he got up and quickly pulled on the boxers and sweatpants Shoyo had laid out beside him on the bench.

Shoyo entered the wardrobe from the exit out into the hall, tugging plastic wrap off a brand-new college brand hoodie.

“Did you just buy that?” Kiyoomi exclaimed in surprise. Shoyo grinned.

“I hope you don’t have one already, because this is yours now.”

“I don’t. I was considering getting one for graduation.”

“Now you don’t have to.”

“I won’t pay you back.”

“It’s a gift. You’re not supposed to.”

“Right.”

Shoyo was still flushed, but grinning when Kiyoomi pulled the soft, thick hoodie over his head and did a turn to show off the result. “It’s so soft.”

“I know, it’s great!”

The hoodie was a deep hunter green, the school’s colour, and the school’s logo covered the entire front side. On the back it had the school’s official saying in hand lettered font, making it hard to read but pretty to look at.

Warmth was spreading through Kiyoomi, but the coldness from his shower and standing almost naked in the shower room for so long would take time to reheat.

“I think I want some soup.” Kiyoomi suggested, remembering their dinner plans. Shoyo grinned.

“I know just the place.”

\--

“Omi-san, there’s something I want to be clear about.”

Shoyo suddenly said after a long pause of eating in silence. They’d both lost themselves in thought about each other, but Shoyo looked to have concluded on something.

“I’d prefer that too.” Kiyoomi answered sincerely. He didn’t like things that were undefinable and unreliable. Clear and proper was more his way of doing things. Shoyo making the first move to bring this up made him all the more sure about his attraction to the younger.

“I know I said I had a few short-lived affairs in Brazil, but this isn’t that.”

Kiyoomi nodded to show he was listening.

“I really like you.” Shoyo said with a straightforwardness that was almost comical in its clinical clarity. As if he was making a statement. _I like this man, your honour._

Kiyoomi smiled. “Me too.”

The edges of Shoyo’s mouth twitched upwards. “Omi-san. Will you be my boyfriend?”

Even though he’d anticipated the question and there was no change in Shoyo’s tone or expression when he said it, the words hit very differently when said out loud. His heart skipped a beat and the blood in his vessels suddenly flooded to his cheeks, but his mind was clear in its response; he was happy. Chemical reactions exploded in his brain as a smile broke out on his face – his eyes and mouth showing his inner self in unshielded exposure.

“Yes.”

Shoyo’s flushed face turned into a smile just as big.

Feeling silly; Kiyoomi turned his attention back to the food, but unable to stop smiling. He felt lucky, luckier than he’d felt for a while, and confident in his choices so far that led him to this point. Not just Shoyo, but also MSBY and the people that have gathered there. He thinks their team will do well. He has a good feeling about it. He’s done the proper preparations, done the steps, he’s ready for the next one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one, but there's a tiny time skip after this so I need to end it there. Sorry~ I'll try to update soon, and thank you for commenting if you did! You kept me writing!


	14. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!  
> I am finally back with another update and I really hope you'll enjoy it! This is a new turn for this improvised story, as we are moving into new times!  
> Thank you all for the lovely support in 2020 and I hope to earn your praise many times more in 2021~  
> Love, Viking
> 
> PS: I've updated the rating accordingly as we are ready to spice things up!

It felt as if they had raced through time when the day finally arrived for Kiyoomi and Shoyo to leave school and move into the MSBY Black Jackal team dorms for new players. Suddenly Kiyoomi’s finals were finished, some of which had seemed like part of some endless torture scheme. He had been starved from training with his team, from hanging out with Shoyo, from sleep and free time. Then, suddenly, it was done, over with, he had packed his dorm room into Motoya’s car and on his way to Osaka and MSBY. Shoyo had already packed up and left, off to see his family for some time before he moved into the team dorms. As a trainer he had finals week off because of his students’ exams.

Shoyo’s last day of work had been strange. Kiyoomi had come to their surprise party for Shoyo to show his support and was met with tearful students proclaiming they would make their dear trainer proud. Shoyo had somehow managed to pull some strings and an actual Brazilian trainer would come for their next season to train them. The beach volleyball team had gone from non-existence to excellence in record time, much thanks to Shoyo’s management. Not that there were many teams to compete with, but it was a sport with growing popularity. However lovable Kiyoomi found Shoyo, he had not expected the effect of him to be so applicable to the general public. He thought the feeling was his alone due to his obvious feelings for the man, but it became clear that Shoyo was just as lovable to any man exposed to his radiation. It should not have surprised him, but it had given him a wake-up-call of sorts. And it made him quietly question the depth of his own affection. Nevertheless, a week of Shoyo visiting his family while Kiyoomi struggled through his finals had been the most torturous week of his entire life. By the time he was packed up into Motoya’s car and on his way to the next step of his life, he was all but ready to pounce the ball of sunshine he called his boyfriend.

“You seem particularly tense today. You nervous about the dorms?” Motoya asked. He’d eyed Kiyoomi’s bouncing knees for a good while already, in-between watching the road. Kiyoomi tore his gaze off the road to frown at him.

“I’ve come to terms with dorms for athletes generally being repulsive until you clean it, so I’ve packed accordingly.”

Motoya cocked an eyebrow at the lack of proper answer to his underlying question. “Are you nervous about your first practice with the team then?”

Kiyoomi frowned even deeper. “I haven’t been able to train as much as I normally do lately, but my body feels good despite it all and I’m confident a good long sleep with make me able to practice in top form once we start.” He replied as if he was thinking out loud. Motoya realised his cousin might simply not know why he was nervous himself, or even realise he was. But to his cousin the tell-tale signs of nervousness were clear. He looked as if deep in thought, some inwardly debate going on in his head as the landscape passed him by through the car window.

“Is Hinata-kun arriving today too?” He asked after another stretch of silence between them, the only sounds between them the radio on low volume, the traffic and the distant rumble of the engine.

This time Kiyoomi looked out of the window, pointedly away from Motoya, but his leg stopped bouncing.

“Tomorrow.”

“That’s nice.” Motoya smiled to himself, amused by his cousin’s inability to hide physical expressions. “Must’ve been lonely without him for a week after spending so much time together, huh?”

Kiyoomi only nodded and Motoya did not dig any deeper than that. He had his answer. And Kiyoomi sighed, let his forehead fall against the car window and stared into the distance.

Motoya had been aware of his cousin’s preferences already back in their childhood days on the same team. In many ways he liked to think he’d known before Kiyoomi did, as the other had gone through a lengthy stretch of comically visible denial after meeting Ushijima for the first time. When the two had come closer this denial had quietly passed and Kiyoomi had granted himself the things he desired without hesitation. Straight forward as he was.

He’d known the moment Hinata had set foot in his car that Kiyoomi had fallen into stupor for the younger, radiant man. A man so incredibly different from Ushijima in so many ways. He was not surprised it didn’t take very long for them to get together, even though he had no real implication as to whether Shoyo was interested in dating men or not. It was obvious to him now, after mentioning Shoyo and seeing the reaction in Kiyoomi, just how much he missed his boyfriend. He was probably just about bursting with longing. The way he sat in his seat; all tense and fidgety, constantly checking his phone, leaning against the car door as if he tried to push himself through it and bring himself into the next day that way. Motoya could not help but smile, because despite the torture he was feeling right now – Kiyoomi was happy.

\--

To Kiyoomi’s great dread, Bokuto and Atsumu had lined themselves up in front of the team dorm building as a welcome committee. They were dressed in matching sweatpants and hoodies in team colours, as well as their own names and numbers printed on them. Seeing Atsumu Miya grin like a stupid idiot in a hoodie that said MIYA in giant golden letters brought more annoyance to Kiyoomi’s gut than he could ever anticipate. Bokuto waved at him using his entire body in the motion and looked just about comical enough to chase away the deep-set growl he almost let out at the sight of Atsumu. It was insane to him to imagine that most people would put those two in the same box as Shoyo and deem them three-of-the-same-cell, when Shoyo was so obviously much more likable than them both. Though he did not really have anything against Bokuto, his lack of disdain against Atsumu brought his grades down in Kiyoomi’s regard. Shoyo was an exception in that regard; Shoyo was nice to everyone.

“Welcome Sakusa-kun!!!” Bokuto shouted with impressive volume.

“Where’s Shoyo?” Atsumu asked the moment Kiyoomi’s opened the car door, peeking into the back seat.

“In Miyagi to visit his family.” Kiyoomi said flatly, grabbing his stuff without greeting the two of them. Bokuto did not notice.

“You didn’t know ‘Tsumu?” Bokuto asked. “I thought you guys texted. He texted me about it weeks ago!” He quickly greeted Motoya that was stepping out of the car and stretched, then joined him to grab stuff from the trunk. When Kiyoomi stood straight again, his backpack hoisted upon his shoulder and another bag in his hand, he caught Atsumu’s disappointed face. His mood brightened considerably at that.

He knew Shoyo had been texting with the two teammates ever since they had been to the tryouts and was unbothered with the fact. He was confident Atsumu posed no threat to their relationship and was determined to not let jealousy ruin them. He normally was not the jealous type, but he’d felt that sting back when they all went to eat together months ago, and it had felt like a warning. Not against Atsumu, but himself.

“You’re both moving into our apartment.” Bokuto explained in the elevator. Kiyoomi’s stomach dropped.

“What?”

“This is an apartment building meant for families, but we decided to move here last year to live closer to our practice facilities. Because the apartments are so big, they made us share.” Bokuto explained further. “Because we know you guys already, and our captain got married and moved out, they decided to room you with us! Isn’t it great?”

Kiyoomi’s eyes flickered to Atsumu, who seemed to share his lack of enthusiasm for the decision. Motoya was looking mildly panicked on his behalf, knowing Kiyoomi’s general disgust when it came to sharing living spaces with other people all too well.

“But you all get your own bedrooms, right?” Motoya asked nervously.

“Yes! Yes, of course, we’re only sharing the bathroom living room. We all have our own rooms.”

Motoya looked far more relieved that Kiyoomi. A shudder of disgust rocked through his body at the thought of sharing a bathroom with three other men.

“Does the whole team live in this building?” Motoya asked.

“Nah, just us in this apartment, and then there’s all the foreigners in another apartment two floors up.” Atsumu explained.

The apartment did not feel very big compared to what he’d pictured when told there was to be 4 full-grown men living there, but there were a lot of rooms. The bedrooms were all around the same size, which was rare, and the bathroom very modern and spacious. It seemed that despite the plain-looking exterior of the apartment building, the apartments were very modern. There was a proper shower and even a bathtub with a control panel and a small screen. Bokuto told him they could watch TV on it while bathing with a lot more excitement than necessary. The entrance hall was very cramped, almost the entire wall to his right was covered with a long storage closet with sliding doors and two doors on each end leading to two bedrooms. The first and smallest bedroom was immediately to the right as they entered the apartment, with the bathroom on the opposing side. Both rooms had sliding doors, which saved some space in the hall.

When entering the hall there was an open living space with a kitchen against the bathroom wall to the left, an oval dining table with four chairs, a TV, a 3-seat sofa and a low back armchair. There was minimal decoration, and the living room and bathroom had no windows. All the windows were in the four bedrooms. It made the living room look dim as if it were evening, even though it was well lit and midday.

“My room is the corner room, and then ‘Tsumu is to the right and you are to my left. Shoyo’s room is the one back there in the hall.” Bokuto said, carrying Kiyoomi’s heaviest suitcase to his room even though it had wheels. Atsumu had been given a smaller suitcase as well and followed suit while rolling it. With their help, Kiyoomi’s things were all brought into his room in one go. He had three suitcases, three bags and his backpack with him, which seemed excessive to the others when piled up on the floor in the middle of his room.

“I’ve always thought of you as the minimalist type, Omi-san, but I can see I’ve been wrong all along.” Atsumu teased with a grin. Kiyoomi narrowed his eyes at him.

“This is the bare minimum I managed to pack for college.” His college dorm had been smaller than his new bedroom, almost half the size. Behind Kiyoomi, Motoya was smiling knowingly. Kiyoomi liked to be prepared for anything and everything. That meant hoarding a lot of clutter.

Atsumu had no answer to that, so he only sighed and left the room. Bokuto was still standing there with them, watching Atsumu leave with a puzzled expression.

“You’re going to need to go out and buy some furniture while you have my car available.” Motoya suggested. The room was completely bare; unfurnished and with white walls.

“I want to clean first.” Kiyoomi said, looking around for his bag of cleaning supplies. “Bokuto-san, do you have a mop?”

“But it’s clean?” Bokuto said, clearly confused. The room looked perfectly clean to him.

“Not clean enough.” Kiyoomi said matter-of-factly. Motoya smiled at him in understanding and grabbed Bokuto by the arm to lead him out.

“Let him find his peace of mind, you’ll get used to it soon enough. Can you show me where to find that mop if you have it?” Motoya told him and Bokuto nodded without losing his confused expression.

\--

By the end of the day Kiyoomi’s room had been cleaned, furnished, cleaned again, then unpacked. He skipped all the meals to make sure he finished in time for bed, or he would not be able to sleep, and only came back out of his room in the late evening to ease his rumbling stomach. Motoya had left once the furniture was assembled and Bokuto and Atsumu were both watching TV on the sofa together.

“There’s some leftover rice in the cooker for ya, Omi-san” Atsumu told him, pointing to the kitchen.

“Thanks.”

The other three had eaten some kind of stew before Motoya left, and Kiyoomi recognised his cousin’s handwriting on the note stuck to a box of leftovers in the fridge.

_“Good luck on your first training!”_ The note said, with some cartoon added to make it cute. Motoya was extremely horrible at drawing, so it was hard to see what exactly he had been trying to draw. He heated the stew in the microwave and sat down at the dining table with a bowl of rice so that he could see the TV while he ate. The show they were watching was some anime with gruesome-looking demons in it, but Kiyoomi did not know what show it was and didn’t pay attention.

Kiyoomi and Shoyo were going to join in on practice for the first time in three days, giving them some time to settle in and ease back into training after some time off. They were scheduled to appointments with their coaches, physical therapist and the team manager once they got started. They needed to record measurements like weight, height and reach, as well as pass a physical mobility test after a week in training to be cleared for matches. And there was to be a photo session to get headshots and a team image for the new season. Their schedule would be completely packed, in other words, and Kiyoomi was starting to wonder how this would affect his relationship with Shoyo. After getting over the initial dread of sharing an apartment with so many men, he had come to realize that sharing with Shoyo would most likely prove to be very convenient. And they had separate rooms if they needed some alone time. He was not worried that constantly being together both at work and at home would bring trouble but adding Bokuto and Atsumu to the mix brought complications. He did not know how they would react to their relationship and how they would feel about living together with them as well.

Prior to the move and after deciding to be a couple, they had discussed this briefly. Shoyo had been clear he wanted no part in any secret relationship scheme within the team, and so they had agreed to be open about it together once they both had arrived. The general public, however, was another matter and Kiyoomi had firmly suggested they keep the relationship private when it came to social media and mass media. To protect their privacy and not get in trouble with the team’s management. He feared that if this became a story in the media, their lives would change into something unrecognizable. He was not willing to let that happen to either of them. Shoyo understood his concern once he explained the risk and the strain of being in the public eye.

This conversation had brought a layer of seriousness to their interaction they had not been prepared for, slowing them down considerably. Some time had passed since their first kiss but touches and kisses had been sparce. They were both holding back, once again hesitant to take their partner to another level, as if scared to make a mistake now that the consequences of doing so seemed so severe. And after telling the team it would weigh even heavier on their shoulders. They shared a sense of responsibility to not create drama or conflict for others around their relationship. To not inconvenience the team in any way. They were new, after all. Rookies once again. Shoyo especially needed to properly secure his position in the v-league for his future career as a professional player. Kiyoomi had a more established reputation he could fall back on if something were to go sideways.

Nervous and excited about the coming reunion, Kiyoomi went to bed early feeling tired but unsettled and took a long time falling asleep. His mind filled with memories of Shoyo and him together. He longed to kiss him, to touch him and hold him. A great feeling of love and affection swelled up in him and he longed to let it pour out and into Shoyo like a broken dam. He curled up under the covers, hugging himself, trying to imagine Shoyo with him in bed. But it was hard to properly imagine something they had never experienced together. Dorm rules at the college had been strict and kept them from spending nights together. Kissing and hugging had been reserved for locker rooms, showers and hand holding in the library.

To think he was a grown man in a stable relationship with such an innocent shared experience, was strange. Yet he did not feel unfulfilled when they were together. It was at night, when alone in his bed, his abdomen tight with want and longing for caress; he felt the emptiness left behind by their limitations. He wanted to abolish this hesitation of theirs, though it seemed impossible when picturing the obstacles they would have to face together. Both in their responsibilities and themselves. But if they could manage through all this and make it through united? He could not imagine a greater feeling.

His dreams were filled with jumbled images. Fantasies and memories tangled together creating new fake realities. As real as if it were happening; he found himself kissing Shoyo with desperation unlike anything he had ever felt. Moans and gasps filled his ears like a song, making his blood soar through his veins, filling him with excitement and growing want and need for _more._ He jerked his hips against this invisible figure holding him only to find no resistance and no relief to his agony. He woke up in the middle of the night bathing in sweat and rock hard in his boxers, a wet spot on the fabric sending a gush of embarrassment through him as he threw away his covers to find some relief in cold air. The room was dark but felt familiar as he looked around and saw his own things out on the shelves and desk. Torn between ignoring his erection and giving if relief, he sat up in bed and huffed. He felt like he needed a shower and had a growing need to change the sheets after feeling the dampness from his sweat when leaning his hand for support. A wave rocked over him, making his erection twitch, and it became clear to him it would be impossible to ignore.

He quickly relieved himself in the shower, after sneaking his way to the bathroom using his phone’s flashlight and dressed in sweatpants. Afterwards, he scrubbed his entire body vigorously, cleaning away the sweat and the lingering loneliness.

The next morning, he felt surprisingly well-rested. He woke up to his usual morning run alarm and found a message from Shoyo waiting for him on the phone:

_“Couldn’t sleep so I left extra early. I’ll be there in around 6 hours.”_

He checked the time on the message and saw it had been sent almost an hour ago. He grinned, suddenly filled with newfound energy and practically jumped out of bed. He got dressed quickly for his run, digging out his best running shoes and carrying them with him out of the room. Atsumu was standing in the kitchen eating a banana and looked up from his phone at the sound of him coming from his room.

“Morning Omi-san! Want a banana?” He picked up another from a bowl full of bananas sitting on the dining table and offered it to him. He accepted it with a nod.

“Off for a run?”

Kiyoomi waited until he had chewed and swallowed the banana in his mouth before answering. “Yeah.”

“Bo’s already out running, but I can show you around if ya want.” Atsumu offered. Kiyoomi eyed him while he chewed. Atsumu was not the unfriendly type but had a knack for teasing that Kiyoomi could not stand. When he acted like a normal, friendly person it was almost a little unnerving because it always felt like he would turn around in a flash and take a stab at him with that prickly mouth of his. Kiyoomi felt like he needed to constantly be on guard with him, which could be exhausting over time. Hence his avoidance of him. This would no longer be possible when they were sharing the same apartment, he knew this. So, a decision was made in his mind when Atsumu asked him.

He would try to make friends.

“Sure.”

Atsumu gave a quick smile and threw their banana peels in the organic waste.

“Great! Let’s go.”

Atsumu had changed little since their time on the national team’s training camps. His hair was still bleached blonde, though he had changed his style and bleached it a shade brighter than before. The difference made him look more mature, but also just as confident as he normally sounded. But he had also earned sharper edges and a little more height over the years, though not enough to reach Kiyoomi’s tall stature.

They jogged lightly side by side along a path Atsumu had led him to after a short walk along the street outside their apartment building to a park. The park revealed a lake, the path circling around it among other directions, and behind the lake Kiyoomi recognized the large gym he knew MSBY used as their training facilities. The convenience of their apartment’s location became clear. They jogged in silence, slowly increasing their speed as their bodies warmed up, running in perfect pace. Kiyoomi recalled how easily Atsumu adapted to other players on court and realized he was doing the same for him by adjusting to his pace at every change. A spark of competitive spirit was lit, and he increased the pace even more to see if the other was able to keep up. Atsumu kept up flawlessly, but gave him a sideways glance in response. They were both listening to their own music without talking to each other, but his unspoken words were clear; _test me._

A gush of air passed them both in the shape of a silver haired tornado called Bokuto Koutaro. Kiyoomi almost jumped to the side at the sudden passing, only to stare incredulously at the broad back of his teammate and flat mate running at a baffling pace. He knew better than to run after him, the rapid increase of speed would ruin his rhythm and leave him burned out much faster, as well as ruin the goal of his exercise. Bokuto had started much earlier than them and was therefore further along on his routine, but still; the pace was awe- inspiring. Atsumu, however, was not as level-headed.

“Bo, you fucker, wait for me!” He shouted after the older man and ran off in a sprint.

Kiyoomi shook his head. “Idiot.” He muttered.

A while later, when done with his routine, he joined the other two on the grass to stretch. Atsumu was lying flat on his back, panting like a madman.

“I hate you, Bo.” He told Bokuto between breaths and the older only laughed. He was standing beside him, stretching his thighs.

“You caught up with me sooner than usual today, ‘Tsumu! Well done!”

“Your pace is very impressive, Bokuto-san.” Kiyoomi said, mirroring his stretch.

“Thank you! I’ve worked hard to earn it. Though I’m sure Atsumu will catch up with me soon enough as he works on his intervals.”

Kiyoomi eyed Atsumu in thought. He had been right about Atsumu adapting to him then, to the point of throwing away his own routine to follow his. He wondered why, as he needed no further guidance once they had reached the park. They ran in circles around the lake and that was it, it was not like he would get lost.

“Omi-san’s routine was so nice and leisurely I fell into a snooze by his side. You woke me up, Bo, thank you for burning by us like you wanted to knock us over.” Atsumu said with a grin, his breath already recovered.

And there it was: the teasing. Kiyoomi felt a stab of annoyance and had to grit his teeth not to retort in a very unintelligent choice of wording.

“Slowly increasing the pace as the muscles warm up is a good way to avoid injury, Miya.” He answered in a low tone, failing at masking his annoyance. The spark of amusement in Atsumu’s eyes at his tone annoyed him a great deal, making him regret speaking at all.

“When’s Shoyo arriving?” Bokuto asked lightly, trying to break whatever mood he’d missed out on.

“In a few hours, he’s taking the train.” Kiyoomi answered, changing his position to stretch lying down.

“The train? What about his stuff?” Bokuto asked.

“I’m not sure, he took the train from the college as well, so I guess he brought it all with him?” He thought out loud, the question taking him off guard. He had not even considered Shoyo might need help getting his stuff from the school to his new place.

“I bet he’s got all his belonging in a single bag.” Atsumu offered. “He’s been living in Brazil for years; he’s probably used to packing light.”

It was annoying when Atsumu seemed right. It made sense, but the truth remained to be seen.

They walked back to the apartment together after finishing up the stretching in the morning sunrise. It was still early and their stomachs rumbled with hunger after the workout. Much to Kiyoomi’s surprise; it was Atsumu who donned an apron the moment they arrived home and started making their breakfast. The rice was already cooked, but he started grilling fish and making soup like he actually knew what he was doing. Bokuto had called dibs on the shower, being the earliest riser apparently earned him this right, so Kiyoomi found himself seated at the dining table to watch Atsumu cook.

“I never thought I’d see this.” Kiyoomi blurted before he could stop himself.

“Whadd’ya mean?” Atsumu asked without turning. The kitchen was along the entire bathroom wall, making a long bench providing storage, a fridge, a dishwasher and a stovetop with a grill. There were no top cupboards, making room for the majority of the room’s lighting: a wide lamp posing as a fake window.

“You’re cooking.”

“How else would I feed myself, Omi-san? I’m not rich, like you.”

Kiyoomi frowned at that. He was not exactly rich, but he knew his parents provided him with more comfort than average. Still, the tone suggested some underlying feeling. Did Atsumu think he was spoiled?

“I guess I didn’t think much about how you feed yourself, Miya. It would mean thinking about you far more often that I’d want to.” He bit back, getting up from his seat and escaping to the bedroom before Atsumu had the chance to answer.

He changed out of his sweaty clothes and into sweatpants and the school hoodie Shoyo had given him, then checked his phone to see if Shoyo had shared any updates.

_“The weather is really nice today, wish I was outside running instead of stuck on this train!”_ He’d written in a Snapchat video of the sunny landscape passing by. Kiyoomi decided to take a selfie with his hoodie.

 _“Let’s go for a run together tonight.”_ He wrote and sent it in reply. He saw the message immediately. Then replayed it. And took a screenshot. Kiyoomi’s stomach fluttered. The three dots telling him Shoyo was writing a reply appeared, so he waited while staring at them.

_“I’d love that.”_

  
He smiled. Of course he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if my langauge has turned posh, I've been watching too much costume dramas.  
> Quick reminder: I don't intend to keep this according to canon timeline and stuff. I'm giving myself the freedom to do what I want with this.
> 
> Also; a special thanks to user omiihiinaloey for commenting on every chapter! I had so much fun reading along and it motivated me so much! Thank you tenfold!


	15. Overload

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shoyo arrives at the dorm and Atsumu is very confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience and enjoy~

A very embarrassing part of Kiyoomi almost had him run down the stairs when the message from Shoyo arrived saying he was just a few bus stops away. Resisting became extra hard when Bokuto jumped down the stairs four steps at a time, passing him and Atsumu from behind and igniting the urge to compete in them both. Atsumu immediately bolted after him, leaving Kiyoomi behind.

“Shoyo-kun!!!!”

Bokuto was already hug-lifting Shoyo when Kiyoomi arrived outside. Shoyo was laughing heartily, though a bit choked from the tight hug.

“Bo! Don’t break him, I need him.” Atsumu scolded jokingly, hitting Bokuto on the back with the flat of his hand.

“Oh, sorry!” Bokuto immediately let go of him, blushing a little.

Kiyoomi wasn’t sure what to do with himself, so he stayed in the background and let the others say their hellos and get it out of their system. A part of him, the embarrassing part, wanted to just barge in and hug him too. Instead, he crossed his arms tightly and just stared intently at him, waiting for his eyes to find him.

Bokuto grabbed his bags, there were only two along with his backpack, and immediately started towards the building while Atsumu started chatting Shoyo’s ears off. It was easy to see Shoyo was trying to be polite but not actually paying attention. It did not take long before his eyes wandered to look around himself to find Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi moved a little closer, moving his hands to his pockets, a small smile creeping at his lips. Shoyo’s eyes flashed back to Atsumu, then back around, turning his body to look behind him and found Kiyoomi standing there. Finally; their eyes met and Atsumu was forgotten. Shoyo immediately turned around and moved towards him with increasing urgency. He felt his feet do the same until their bodies joined together in a tight, longing hug.

A soft groan escaped Kiyoomi before he could stifle it. He buried his face into Shoyo’s shoulder and hoodie, inhaling him, feeling the relief wash over his entire body. Shoyo was home.

“I missed you.” Shoyo said softly, sounding like he was smiling.

“Me too.” He murmured back.

Shuffling of slippers against asphalt popped their bubble and they parted.

“I… I’ll see you guys inside.” Atsumu stuttered, then left before they could look at him. Shoyo laughed lightly.

“I think we confused him.”

“He’s always confused, he’s just good at pretending not to be.” Kiyoomi said with a wicked smile, finding satisfaction even though Atsumu could not hear him.

“So mean.” Shoyo pretended to look shocked.

“He’ll deserve it, eventually.” He answered truthfully. Atsumu had been disconcertingly nice to him so far after all. He did not expect that to last very long.

“I’ll allow it.” Shoyo teased, then hooked his hand around Kiyoomi’s neck to bring their mouths together. He let himself relax into the kiss, his eyes falling shut and the world around them disappearing completely.

It was slow and light, but his heart did not care and raced off as if they were making out with all their might. The tender touch of their lips tickled and Shoyo’s fingers around his neck sent shivers down his spine. He felt his skin flush around his neck and face. When their lips parted; Shoyo was watching his face with a smile Kiyoomi could only call satisfied.

“How do you want to do this?” Shoyo asked him softly, looking him straight in the eyes to look for signs of hesitation.

“I’m not much of an announcing-things kind of guy…” Kiyoomi said carefully, realizing he had not really thought of it that far yet.

“Me neither.” Shoyo said with a chuckle. “I’m more the barging in and let them deal with it type.”

“Just winging it then?” Kiyoomi suggested.

“Yeah.”

“Atsumu’s gonna have a stroke.”

“I hope so, I’ll use it against him for the rest of his life.” Shoyo said with a rare look of mischief Kiyoomi wanted to see a lot more of in the future. He really liked this unexpected side of him, the side that always left people floored in surprise because the kind and considerate Hinata can do mischief after all.

“Maybe not kiss in the middle of the street anymore though.” Shoyo said, looking like he just realized they had done it and looking around them to see if there were any onlookers. Kiyoomi laughed out loud.

“Yeah, maybe not.” He found himself not really caring if the world knew, but he would respect the fear of unknown consequences looming over Shoyo.

“You’ll need to buy some furniture.” Atsumu told Shoyo when he entered his own room after Bokuto had given him a 3-second tour of the apartment. Shoyo’s bags were piled in the middle of the room, a room slightly smaller than the others and given to him as the youngest member of the roommates. The door was straight right as you entered the apartment, across from the shared bathroom. Shoyo was walking around in the room, touching the walls and opening the sliding window along the innermost wall.

“I like it, it’s so bright!” Shoyo exclaimed with excitement.

“Yeah, you actually have sunlight almost all day from this angle.” Atsumu said, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. The door was a sliding door, as to not take space from the hallway or the small room. It was likely the room was originally designed as storage, but the lighting was indeed too excellent to be used just for storing things, Kiyoomi thought to himself. He was standing in the room, opposite from Atsumu, leaning against the wall and looking at the view and at Shoyo’s excited face. A fleeting thought that the sunniest room fit perfectly for the sunshine man in front of him, crossed his mind and he smiled fondly. Across the room Atsumu was eyeing him with curiosity.

“There’s a furniture shop not so far from here we could walk to, if you want to? I bought my stuff there and they even deliver.” Atsumu suggested to Shoyo without taking his eyes off of Kiyoomi. Shoyo was too immersed with the view to notice.

“Sure!” Shoyo replied. Kiyoomi stared back at Atsumu with intended malice to make him stop staring.

“I’ll come too.” He said, pushing himself off the wall to show he was ready to go right away.

“And me!” Bokuto suddenly joined in from out in the hallway.

“It’s a party.” Atsumu said with way too little excitement and left the room. Kiyoomi watched him go with a frown, having trouble figuring him out. Atsumu was hard to read, as always, which made him squeamish. He liked having the people close to him figured out.

“Can we get some food while we’re out too? I’m so hungry!” Shoyo asked, already putting on some shoes he fetched from one of his bags on the floor.

“For sure!” Bokuto gave a thumbs up, shoes already on, practically running on the spot in the hallway, waiting for them to come.

“What do you want to eat? I’ll buy it for you.” Kiyoomi rushed to offer before anyone else could butt in and take the claim from him. Shoyo grinned at him.

“Take one guess.”

“Yakiniku.” Kiyoomi said without hesitation, breaking into a rare full smile. Shoyo watched him with awe at first, then grinned even brighter.

\--

A bed, a side-table, a closet, and a small desk ordered for delivery later; they were gathered around the table at a barbecue place recommended by the workers at the furniture shop. It was a little way to go, but the workers had assured them it was worth the walk for their famous pork barbecue menu. That had been all the information Shoyo needed to practically bolt down the street before even knowing the actual directions.

When piled together around a small, square table with a grill in the middle, Bokuto and Shoyo’s conversation went on non-stop about an international volleyball tournament that had aired on TV over the weekend. Meanwhile, Atsumu seemed to be stuck between being lost in thought and communicating with Kiyoomi unsuccessfully purely through expressions. Kiyoomi had real trouble making sense of him, to the point of Atsumu growling in frustration, then getting up from his seat and excusing himself to the restroom. Shoyo and Bokuto did not even notice, so Kiyoomi got up and followed. He wanted to tell him to stop playing games and just say what he wanted to say, when his arm was grabbed out of nowhere and Atsumu dragged him towards the back exit instead of the restrooms.

“What the heck are you trying to say?” Kiyoomi asked him with his annoyance bleeding through his otherwise flat tone.

“I’m not even sure myself.” Atsumu admitted with an unexpectedly bewildered expression. Kiyoomi raised his eyebrow, genuinely surprised by his response.

“I just know that there’s something unsaid in the air here and I’m pretty sure ya know what it is, and I need to know.” Atsumu blurted in a mumble.

“I didn’t take you for the observant type.” Kiyoomi said without thinking, only to realize himself that it was a lie. Atsumu frowned.

“I’m a setter. Analyzing my surroundings and my teammates is literally all I do.” He bit back. Kiyoomi felt the blow, a little embarrassed at his comment, but brushed it off with a shrug.

“So?” Atsumu moved closer to his face, so Kiyoomi stepped back, his back hitting the wall.

“So what.” Kiyoomi answered.

“What do you know.” Atsumu’s voice was getting more and more annoyed and Kiyoomi would not admit it if asked, but he was kind of enjoying it.

“Shoyo and I.” He said, being vague on purpose in hopes of annoying him even more. And it did. Atsumu frowned even more, clearly not getting it.

“You and Shoyo… what? Are you planning something? A surprise?”

Kiyoomi pretended to think about it.

“Kind of?”

Atsumu looked like he was just about to burst from curiosity.

“And? What is it?” Atsumu urged on, moving closer to him yet again.

“Omi-san? Where did you go?”

Shoyo’s voice put their conversation to a stop. Atsumu was distracted and Kiyoomi jumped at the chance to get away, not comfortable with the lack of distance between them.

“Here.” He called back and Shoyo appeared.

“What’re you doing? The meat is cooking.” Shoyo asked.

“Atsumu wants to know about our surprise.” Kiyoomi said with a mischievous smile towards Shoyo, his back to Atsumu so he could not see it. Shoyo’s eyes flashed to him, confused for a second, but then seeing his grin and then immediately on track.

“Ohhhh, _that_ surprise?”

Atsumu threw his hands in the air. “WHAT SURPRISE.” He said, exasperated, throwing his arms out with dramatic flare.

Shoyo could not hold it in and burst out laughing, his face completely covered in blushing red.

“Should we show him?” Kiyoomi said, barely holding his own composure. Shoyo could only nod, unable to stop laughing at Atsumu’s wild expression. Kiyoomi stepped closer to Shoyo, reaching an arm around him to guide their bodies closer, flashed a quick look to see if Atsumu was paying attention, and then grabbed Shoyo’s jaw to make him look at him and not the floor.

Their kiss was sloppy, due to Shoyo’s barely contained laughter, but the thrill of having Atsumu watching them made his stomach flutter. As soon as Shoyo seemed to have his laugh under control and kissed him back properly, he leaned in closer and deepened their kiss with his tongue breaking through the other’s lips and teeth. Shoyo gasped in surprise but judging from the way his hands grabbed hold of his jacket; he did not mind at all.

Neither of them paid any attention to Atsumu at this point, but their kiss ended at the sound of two female customers coming into the narrow hallway, on their way to the restroom together. The sound surprised them both, so they broke away quickly, flushed red and panting. Shoyo was able to take one quick look at the two gaping women before bursting into laughter once again, hiding himself into Kiyoomi’s bigger frame. It was as if he was trying to crawl into Kiyoomi’s open bomber jacket, so he opened it for him and tried his best to cover his body while he tried to not to look at anything or anyone.

That had surprised him, but he blamed being caught in the moment. Plus, they had not seen each other for a while. They had a lot of catching up to do.

Atsumu seemed to have been stunned into silence for the very first time in his life, the way he was standing completely still, mouth agape, blushing just as much as the two men who just did a tongue kiss right in front of him.

A little shuffling later, the two women escaped to the restroom, and Shoyo re-emerged from his hiding place in Kiyoomi’s jacket, Atsumu finally found his words.

“So that’s the surprise?”

Shoyo nodded while Kiyoomi was still looking at the roof, trying to calm his heart, holding onto Shoyo like he was holding on to his own life. Shoyo shyly hiding in his jacket while laughing had sparked unexpected results in his nerve system.

“You’re gay?” Atsumu asked, his tone a little higher than usual. Then he shook his head and looked like he realized something new entirely. “Omi-kun is gay?” He added, sounding incredulous.

“Surprise.” Kiyoomi said flatly, finally finding his cool enough to look at him.

“I can’t believe I was right.” Atsumu said, his eyes lighting up.

“What.” Kiyoomi blurted, now frowning.

“I won.” Atsumu continued, suddenly fumbling his pockets until fishing up his phone from his back pocket.

“Won what?” Kiyoomi frowned harder, not liking how excited Atsumu was looking. Atsumu was about to type on his phone but paused to answer him.

“I won the bet. ‘Samu said you weren’t gay, but I bet against him. Years ago, back in high school.”

Shoyo was frowning by now. “That’s not a very nice thing to bet about, Atsumu-san.”

A flash of regret passed Atsumu’s face along with an embarrassed blush. He put his phone away. “You’re right. We were teenagers and competed on everything and agreed on nothing, so we would do bets on anything and everything. I got carried away with the thought of telling my brother he was wrong about something.” His eyes met Kiyoomi’s.

“I’m sorry Omi-kun.”

Once again, Atsumu both looked and sounded completely genuine, but Kiyoomi was having trouble trusting it. He accepted the apology anyway, since Shoyo seemed to be satisfied with the excuse.

“The meat’s gonna char.” Shoyo said, pulling Kiyoomi with him towards their table, Atsumu following suit.

“There you are! I had to eat the first round all by myself, or it would’ve charred.” Bokuto greeted them at the table.

“You could’ve just set it aside.” Kiyoomi said as he sat down.

Atsumu looked at Bokuto and suddenly looked troubled. He was seated between Bokuto and Shoyo, and quickly leaned against Shoyo to ask him his question.

“Are you going to tell Bokuto too, or am I the only one allowed to know about the surprise?”

“Oh, he already knows.” Shoyo said, his attention on the almost-perfectly cooked pork on the grill. Atsumu’s eyes went wide. Kiyoomi’s ears twitched. He was not aware of this fact himself.

“Since when?” Atsumu asked.

“Just now. I told him while you guys were gone.”

Atsumu looked at Bokuto, who smiled back in question since he did not know what they were talking about. Atsumu had no further comment and Kiyoomi could not help but smile. Shoyo really meant it when he said he was the straight-forward type. While he himself was more private about things like this, he found that he did not mind Shoyo taking charge like this at all.

\--

“You promised me a run.” Shoyo appeared in his room later that evening after Kiyoomi and the other roommates had left the new arrival to unpack his things and figure out where he wanted his furniture. Kiyoomi had resisted the urge to linger in his bedroom and instead settled in his own bed with his phone and a simple game. He turned to his side at the sound of Shoyo’s voice and stretched.

“I did, didn’t I?”

“Do you want to go now?” Shoyo walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge, the mattress dipping to that Kiyoomi naturally fell against him. He grabbed hold of Shoyo’s waist to balance himself, then adjusted his upper body so he could look up at his face.

“In a bit.” He said, smiling. Shoyo smiled back.

Kiyoomi used his free hand to stroke his way up Shoyo’s bare arm, leaving goosebumps in his path and sneaking under the sleeve of his t-shirt. Shoyo bit his lip at the sensation as Kiyoomi’s hand stroked back down against the bumpy skin. Shoyo leaned his face closer to his, their eyes locked together.

“You said you’re not the kissing type, but you’re doing an awful lot of kissing today Omi-san”

“You keep making me change my mind.”

“Is that so?”

“I just can’t help it.”

“I don’t mind.”

They leaned into each other, their lips greeting each other softly at first. Then, as Shoyo leaned in closer and Kiyoomi arched upward against him, their mouths opened and let their tongues tangle together. A shiver rocked through Kiyoomi’s body at the sensation, the hand on Shoyo’s waist holding on so tight it whitened. His position was awkward for his body, so he could not hold it for long. He fell back against the bed with a gasp of air, and Shoyo wasted no time to adjust himself to climb onto the bed on all fours and caged him in, face hovering above him with eyes lit with fire.

The sight was devastating for Kiyoomi’s already weakened control, his defenses – his hesitation – crushed in a single blow. With a gasp he engulfed Shoyo’s lips with vigor, his hand secured behind the younger’s neck to bring them together. Shoyo moaned into his mouth and Kiyoomi felt his pelvis move against him in pure reaction to the noise. Shoyo answered by spreading his legs even wider above him, bringing their bodies flush against each other.

Kiyoomi had to break their kiss for breath when their chests met. Shoyo was letting more and more of his weight fall against him as his arms were giving out on their task of holding him up. Shoyo moved his mouth to his neck, leaving a trail of kisses across his neck and collarbone. His kisses left small wet spots on his skin and his breath made his skin tingle. The number of sensations being sent up to his brain was making his head cloudy, a state he strongly disliked. He preferred feeling present and aware the whole time, not falling into the cloudy space his brain so much wanted him to retrieve into whenever he was experiencing an overwhelming amount of touch.

“Shoyo-“ He gasped, moving his hands to grab his arms. Shoyo stopped immediately, pulling back so he could look at him.

“Sorry, did I move to fast?”

Kiyoomi could only pant, not sure how to explain properly while his mind was cloudy and making it hard to think out entire sentences. Shoyo’s eyes scanned him with a serious look, taking in the information in front of him with impressive concentration.

“It’s good, but-“ Kiyoomi was able to force out. His pelvis was still barely moving against Shoyo, making little micro-sensations spark up through his system. Shoyo stayed still, watching him closely.

“Too much at once. Got it.” He said as if receiving instructions on how to serve a ball.

Kiyoomi’s mind was almost completely cleared up by then, so he relaxed his grip on Shoyo’s arms and pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you.” He said, knowing the other would know just what he was thankful for.


	16. Sic parvis magna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they go on a moonlight run, but only after an important reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is.... yeah. Enjoy! haha~

There was a certain unparalleled sense of relief whenever Shoyo seemed to read him _just right._ Without any seeming effort he would sense and see whatever Kiyoomi was having trouble communicating with words, and It made things a lot more comfortable for them both. That did not mean Kiyoomi did not try making an effort to learn to communicate his inner self to the younger man whenever he could. He could tell Shoyo was making great efforts to take things slow with him, after realizing just how sensitive to touch Kiyoomi was.

It is one of many reasons he does not like being physical with people, and one of the founding reasons of his general refusal to let other people be close to him. He had hungry skin; which in his case meant his skin didn’t really discriminate. Light touches, stroking and similar skin contact would spark reactions that were either wanted or unwanted depending on the person doing it. When sparked by the wrong person, Kiyoomi had always found himself feeling repulsed by his own body’s reaction to a person to whom he felt no other attraction. As a child it had left him avoidant and angry towards others, alienating himself from people to avoid being touched. As this grew into a habit, other preferences followed suit; the obsession with cleanliness, bacteria, _fluids._

Before his relationship with Wakatoshi he had thought himself incapable of romantic interaction. But because Wakatoshi always let him take the lead, he was able to ease into it by experimenting on his own terms. They took things excruciatingly slow together, but it had been necessary for him to figure out his personal comfort zones. It took time to learn that he did not feel repulsed when Wakatoshi touched his arm, but rather good and excited.

With Shoyo he was less cautious, which meant he needed their intimate interactions to stop completely for a bit at times, to bring himself back down to a more conscious state where he could actually enjoy it. The effort Shoyo was making to hold himself back was visible, but there was no sign of impatience or annoyance. He understood, without really saying it out loud, but he showed it in the way he analyzed Kiyoomi’s every expression, every twitch, whenever he brought them to a stop. The relief of being able to push his own limits, knowing he could stop at any time, was a key reason he was falling so deeply in love with this man.

Shoyo had engulfed him entirely. Sucked up his being and made him his. He was completely lost to him and would give way to any whim as far as he was able. Stupidly in love, he felt like he could understand romance stories for the very first time. When he watched Shoyo, who was watching him too, he felt his love for him swell in his heart like it was going to overflow at any moment. His heart felt too large for his chest, the pressure only releasing if he closed the gap between them and made their lips meet and their hands grip tight as if he would disappear in his arms if he did not hold on. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time; knowing Shoyo wielded such power over him. Knowing Shoyo could crush him beyond repair if he wanted to. He had no trouble trusting Shoyo would never use that power against him. Yet Shoyo is admiringly selfless, never taking advantage of that power beyond what he knew Kiyoomi would enjoy himself.

He wanted Shoyo to feel the same, but it was impossible to know for sure if he did. He wished he could inhabit him, if even for a blink of an eye, to see if their trust is mutual. He wanted to be better at showing how he felt. He wanted there to be no doubt, but it was impossible to explain accurately just how he felt and say those words out loud. Even to Shoyo; that was an unimaginable thing. He could only wish and hope his shyness would not be read as indifference. And try to express himself physically to the best of his ability.

He knew he should not moan when they were in his bedroom and Bokuto was home. He knew all too well, but the wish to let Shoyo know just how _good_ he felt as his stomach was covered in wet, hungry kisses, was stronger than his mercy towards Bokuto’s ears. Shoyo had lifted his hoodie above his head, trapping his arms, and lifted his t-shirt to expose his skin. They were going for a run, soon, but got caught up in each other.

Kiyoomi was panting, watching Shoyo intensely as he hovered above his stomach, kissing it every time it rose at a heave of breath. Their eyes were locked, the intense dark orange of Shoyo’s gaze alone enough to make his stomach coil. His breathing was controlling the touches, making him both in control and out of control. Teased, as he tried to control the rhythm of his own breathing, trying to arch his body against those lips. Shoyo was moving down towards his abdomen in such a slow pace it almost made him whine with impatience. The tenacity Shoyo had when he was like this, was always torturous.

Shoyo reached past his navel, having learned to skip it, and finally dipped his head down to suck at the sensitive skin right above his boxers. The reaction was immediate; as if electrocuted, Kiyoomi let out a strangled sound as his head fell back and his hips jerked away from the touch and against the mattress, finding no give. No escape. It was an automatic reaction whenever he was touched there, one he had zero control over, but he had learned that with the right people the sensation was incredible. Shoyo hummed, satisfied with his work, moving his mouth to the hipbone on the right side. He bit slightly at the flesh, making another spark of pleasure rock through him. He moaned again.

“Shoyo-“ He breathed, trying to sound urging but only sounding broken. Shoyo’s eyes sparked, the edges of his mouth turning into a smile. He let Kiyoomi breathe a little, pausing the stimulations by letting his mouth hover while he watched him, waiting for him to clear up his head.

Though hesitant at first, Shoyo had found his own ways to enjoy the many curious reactions Kiyoomi’s body would have to touch. He seemed to view it almost like a mission of exploration; taking his time to map out every tiny detail. A chance like this; on a bed together, Kiyoomi completely at his mercy in a private space, had been rare so far. Shoyo was going to make sure they had a proper reunion.

Despite being a very verbal being, Shoyo did not talk much while he concentrated, so he never talked much while they were intimate. He would read Kiyoomi’s body and communicated through his own. His eyes, his mouth and muscles expressed their own language. Kiyoomi had been forced to learn how to read him too, which brought its own challenges. He was far from fluent, but he was enjoying the process of learning. And while learning he would let Shoyo take the lead more often than not. It was a welcome change from his previous relationship.

He sighed in relief as his mind cleared, then found Shoyo’s eyes once more. He gave a tiny nod, and the younger opened his mouth once again. A tiny lick along the sensitive skin right above his boxers sent another spark of sensation to his brain, but not as violent as before. The sparks of pleasure spread, heat rising in his abdomen, deep breaths making it spread throughout his body. He could feel every tiny movement of skin rubbing against the hoodie trapping his arms. The heat transferring where Shoyo was sitting on his thighs. Shoyo’s arms brushing against the side of his ribs where his hands were supporting his weight against the mattress. The sound of his own breathing in the silence of the bedroom, the only other sound the sound of Shoyo’s lips against him.

“I want to kiss you…” He whispered, as if he were thinking out loud, not sending a request to Shoyo. Another smile, another small lick at his skin that made his breath hitch.

Their lips met and he felt his body relax when Shoyo let his arms go and the weight of him pushed him against the mattress. The contact less intense than the light feathery touches of fingers and lips, and therefore bringing him some relief from the tension he had been building. Still; the collected results of Shoyo’s work was far from concealed when the other’s lower body rubbed against his own. Shoyo moaned into his mouth when an involuntary slow thrust of Kiyoomi’s hips brought delicious friction of clothing against clothing.

They were still fully dressed, Shoyo in the elastic jeans and t-shirt he had changed into before unpacking, Kiyoomi in his college sweatpants and hoodie. They both wished they were not, hands hurriedly grabbing at the offensive fabric on the other, revealing bit by bit as they sit up, facing each other.

Shoyo’s tan was still fading, a sight to remember and forever burned into Kiyoomi’s memory. He could almost picture the golden glow while watching the slightly paler version, but no less appealing, version come to sight before his eyes. The tightness of Shoyo’s abdomen as he pulled his shirt above his head was like a magnetic force to Kiyoomi’s hands, who soon found their way to touch the skin and feel the toned muscles with his fingertips. Shoyo huffed at the light touch, his skin twitching under Kiyoomi’s fingertips. The t-shirt flew to the floor and Kiyoomi was pulled into another kiss, his cheeks held firmly in place by a pair of warm hands. He deepened the kiss immediately, opening up his mouth and inviting him in. His lack of hesitation, lack of repulsion, to the amount of fluid being shared between them surprised him, but he did not let his mind wander in that direction.

He was soon distracted as his own upper body garments were discarded; his arms now completely free to embrace the man kneeling in front of him. He pulled him close, let his mouth find Shoyo’s neck and kissed along the muscle to his shoulder. Then switched side to repeat. Shoyo’s hands were busy working on the button of his own pants. I popped open, coming apart as if too tight, the zipper pulling down on its own. Kiyoomi heard the sound and shivered.

He was too aroused to question their location. To think of their roommates in their rooms or in the living room, possibly listening. He did not care; all he wanted was for Shoyo to touch him and give him relief from the immense built-up pressure in his body. It was ripping at his seams already, so close to euphoria he could almost taste it.

Shoyo’s hands found his face again, making their eyes meet. An unspoken question presented itself in his Shoyo’s eyes and brows, his hand carefully reaching out to touch the front of Kiyoomi’s pants, asking for permission to proceed. Kiyoomi was panting, but his head felt clear, almost crisp, with pure want. They had paced it exactly right, and so he was ready. He answered with another kiss, moving his body closer, Shoyo’s hand sliding into his boxers. A gasp escaped him, but Shoyo swallowed it.

The pace was slow and careful, allowing Kiyoomi to adapt to the sensation. Soon he could stop relying on Shoyo’s body to stay upright and leaned back to return the favor. They found a mutual rhythm and leaned their heads on each other’s shoulders, breath tickling the skin.

A blinding light blinded him as the pressure in his abdomen finally released, his teeth biting down on Shoyo’s shoulder to muffle his moan, his free hand pulling at Shoyo’s hair and bringing his head back. Shoyo was unable to hold his voice back, the high-pitched sound of his release filling the room. He quickly slapped a hand over his own mouth, but it was too late and therefore he let out an out of breath laugh. Kiyoomi leaned against his chest heavily, still panting, but smiled as well. Strong arms enveloped him in a hug, small kisses caressing his shoulder.

“We should go for that run now, before we’re hanged for disturbing the peace.” Shoyo murmured, his voice vibrating in his chest. Kiyoomi flushed, finally realizing that Atsumu and Bokuto would have to be deaf not to have heard at least some part of it.

“I need a moment.” He admitted, his body numb and his nerves twitching with electricity. Shoyo let him go, finding his eyes to read them.

“Take your time.”

He leaned his forehead against Shoyo’s in thanks, then took a deep breath to gather himself. They stayed like this for a few breaths, eyes closed, basking in the afterglow.

“You should go change; I’ll be out in a bit.” He told him, gently pushing him off the bed as he got up on his feet.

“Are you telling me to go deal with the hyenas on my own?” Shoyo pretended to look scandalized.

“Better you than me.” Kiyoomi sticked out his tongue slightly, then pushed Shoyo towards the door with his leg.

“Make sure to remember my sacrifice.” He answered with barely achieved seriousness, his smile cracking through the edges of his mask.

“I’ll never forget.” Kiyoomi promised.

Shoyo opened the door slowly, only peeking out at first. No light came streaming into the room, and then Shoyo stepped out completely. A moment later his head peaking back in.

“They’re not here.”

“They left?” Kiyoomi was itching to get to the bathroom to rid of his sullied boxers and wash his hands as soon as possible, so he quickly stepped into the living room with Shoyo and looked around. The place was dark and empty, the doors to their bedrooms closed. Shoyo checked the hallway for shoes.

“I don’t think they’re in their rooms either.” He said quietly, despite himself. Kiyoomi went into the bathroom.

“I just hope they left before we started making sounds.” Kiyoomi said, a blush heating up his face again. Shoyo snorted.

“I’d like to see Atsumu’s face though.”

Kiyoomi could not agree, so he shook his head and closed the door in his face.

“Hey, I need to use the bathroom too!” Shoyo called through the door, trying to open it again. He had already locked it.

“Wait your turn!” He said mischievously.

\--

The moon was almost full and lit up the park beautifully. It was quite late, so there were no other people on the path as they jogged lightly on the gravel around the lake. Shoyo had been amazed at the size and convenient location of the park when Kiyoomi brought him there, the awed expression on his face making him look years younger. They fell into pace with each other without effort, Shoyo’s incredible athleticism had no trouble keeping up with Kiyoomi’s long legs. They kept the tempo light, the only purpose for going there to get some fresh air and show Shoyo the path.

They soon reached the far end of the lake, closest to the gym, and noticed Atsumu and Bokuto sitting on the swings in the playground located there. Talking and laughing together. Bokuto waved as soon as he saw them, motioning for them to come over. Shoyo obeyed immediately, and Kiyoomi followed behind.

“Here you are!” Shoyo exclaimed.

“Here we are.” Atsumu answered. Kiyoomi threw him a look, wondering if he was about to be rude to Shoyo or not. His tone was hard to judge by.

“We thought we’d give you some privacy.” Bokuto said, smiling innocently.

“Sorry to chase you out like that.” Shoyo said, unabashed. Kiyoomi felt himself getting fidgety.

“Don’t worry about it, we were going for a run anyway. Right, ‘Tsumu?” Bokuto gave Atsumu a look for him to follow along, but Atsumu is not one to sugarcoat his opinions.

“Maybe give us a heads-up next time.” He said, his tone neither annoyed nor joking. But Shoyo did not even flinch.

“We don’t really plan what to do together before we hang out, so I can’t really promise anything. We’ll try to keep it down though.”

Kiyoomi could no longer take it and started walking away briskly, flushed like a beet at Shoyo’s straight forward response. Shoyo reacted quickly, edging away from the conversation to follow him. Atsumu was looking at Shoyo with a stupefied look on his face, while Bokuto was trying not to laugh.

“See you inside!” He called, waved goodbye, and jogged after the powerwalking Kiyoomi to catch up.

“Did you see his face?” Shoyo said with glee once he had caught up with him. Kiyoomi shot a look behind to see if Atsumu was within eyesight.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Kiyoomi said with an amused smile. While it had been extremely embarrassing, the look on Atsumu’s face was worth it.

Shoyo grinned in response, then jogged ahead in their previous pace without a word. Kiyoomi adjusted to stay by his side.

“I don’t want our time in the dorm to be spent on our tip-toes, constantly trying to hide away to spare their embarrassment. It’s better to just be straight about it, so they can adjust.”

Kiyoomi eyed him, once again amazed by the way his mind worked around problems.

“I know Bokuto is fine, he’s not easily embarrassed, but I don’t really know Atsumu enough to tell how he feels about things.” Shoyo continued.

“Atsumu’s hard to read.” Kiyoomi said, and Shoyo nodded in agreement.

“He’s practiced at concealing his feelings, that’s for sure. And I’ve been told he has a hard time getting along with other people.”

Kiyoomi huffed. “That’s no surprise.”

Shoyo threw him a look, something along the lines of sympathetic. Kiyoomi made a grimace.

“Don’t tell me you feel sorry for him.”

He blanked for a moment, looking caught. He turned his gaze ahead, jogging in silence for a little while.

“Maybe a little bit.” He admitted. Then slowed to a walk and turned his head toward him with a small grin. “I have a weak spot for social misfits.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to very clear on this:  
> The things Kiyoomi describe as part of the cause of his behavior in this chapter is in no way meant to 'diagnose' or explain the Sakusa Kiyoomi in the original work. This is a major canon divergence made in the name of creative freedom and convenience of smut, and not what I perceived from reading the original manga.


End file.
